Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, its jealousy as enduring as the grave. Love flashes like fire, the brightest kind of flame. Many waters cannot quench love, nor can rivers drown it. – Song of Solomon 8:6-7a NLT
When we were first getting married, one of the recurring pieces of advice we heard was, “Never stop dating your spouse!” At the time, that seemed like a given—why wouldn’t I keep “dating” the person I love most?
But over the years, as schedules filled (along with our house upon the arrival of our children), it became apparent that this advice not only spoke to keeping the desire to date your spouse, it emphasized the need to prioritize dating them.
Marriage Is Meant for Joy
When we look at God’s beautiful design for marriage from Genesis 1 and 2, it’s apparent that Adam and Eve weren’t brought together for the express purpose of overseeing the garden as partners. God wanted Adam and Eve to delight in each other; to enjoy one another’s company for the sheer purpose of companionship.
So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the LORD God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib, and He brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one (Genesis 2:21-24 NLT).
Adam rejoiced in song at the sight of Eve. He had found someone who was like him; someone to cherish and admire. Our spouse is more than a partner. They’re someone whose soul relates with our own.
Making Margin
Dating your spouse doesn’t happen without intention. Calendars are like vessels—they’ll fill up with anything we pour into them. But eventually, they’ll overflow. What you prioritize—that which you pour in first—will determine what your life is filled with. If we wait to add designated time to delight in our spouse, we’ll often find that we don’t have the space for it, whether that’s mentally, emotionally, or physically.
Whether or not you plan for a specific day of the week, take turns picking what to do, or carve out time at the end of each day, the important part is to just start a regular rhythm of getting away from the busyness of life. Don’t overcomplicate it. Start small and make it something that is sustainable for this season of life.
Remember, the whole point is to continually enjoy your spouse because that’s what leads to a lasting, healthy marriage.
