Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. – James 1:2-4 NLT
Divorce is devastating for everyone involved, and it can have lasting effects. It’s an extremely difficult decision that comes with all sorts of new emotions and complications. But even in the pain, frustration, confusion, and heartbreak that divorce can cause, there is a pathway to healing.
Here are a few steps to follow as you walk through this season.
1. Give yourself time to grieve. Divorce is as devastating as death, and the grieving process is very similar. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance are all stages of grief that you may experience in divorce. Let yourself face all these stages and not avoid them or try to move on too quickly.
2. Find people to lean on for support. Many churches provide support groups for post-divorce care. If you’d like help finding a church, fill out the Find a Church Request Form. If you cannot find a care group, try divorcecare.org
3. Process what has happened with a professional. Take time to meet with your pastor, a counselor, or a therapist to talk through everything you’re feeling.
4. Begin to rebuild your life one day at a time. Develop practices that strengthen and encourage the process into your new reality. For example, get your finances in order with a budget or financial counselor. Remember, economic rebuilding takes time, but it is possible as you make wise choices. Be patient with yourself.
5. Take care of yourself. Exercise. Eat as you should. Start a new hobby to keep your mind from obsessing over your troubles. Get involved in your church. Get individual counseling. Whether your marriage makes it or not, you need to provide for yourself spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically.
6. Ask the Lord to help you forgive. As Christians, we know that God has forgiven us of much. We also know that Jesus commands us to forgive. Therefore, even though separation or boundaries may be necessary, we must always forgive. Forgiveness is the path to healing.
If you’d like to talk with one of our pastors, call (888) 937-2471.
Pause and Reflect
1. What have been some of the toughest challenges for you in divorce? How does knowing that God can take this difficult season of your life and do something good with it give you hope in your day-to-day life?
2. Make a list of people you can lean on and healthy activities to help you recharge your batteries. Reach out to the people on your list and schedule a time to talk with them. Pull out your calendar and set aside time for yourself this week to grieve, process, and rest.
