At 10 years old, Kirby Kelly asked a question many spend a lifetime wrestling with.
“God, why?”
From the outside, her life looked like the American dream.
“My dad worked on Wall Street. We had the beautiful house. My mom was able to be a stay-at-home mom,” Kirby said.
But behind closed doors, addiction was quietly unraveling everything.
“If you were to actually peek behind the scenes, there was a lot of brokenness.”
By the time she was 10, that struggle took her father’s life.
“When I was 10 years old, my dad ended up dying from his addiction.”
Grief followed. So did doubt. If God was good, why did it hurt this much?
Hear the entire conversation between Crystal Thornton and Kirby Kelly in the podcast below
When Pain Builds Walls
Before her father died, her parents divorced anbd Kirby and her family relocated to Texas to start over. Around that time, her mother sent her and her brother to a Christian summer camp.
That decision would change everything.
“That was the first time at eight years old I really heard the gospel.”
The seed was planted. But the pain remained.
Middle school brought bullying and internal struggles.
“For me, it also looked like getting bullied, struggling with self-harm and suicidal thoughts.”
For a time, God felt distant.
A Cry God Heard
At 14, Kirby returned to that same summer camp, this time desperate for something to change.
“I’m tired. I’m tired of feeling alone. I need you.”
In that moment, everything shifted.
“I had this real encounter with God.”
Kirby surrendered her life to Christ.
“That’s really when everything changed in my life.”
God in the Middle of the Storm
Her circumstances did not suddenly improve. Her mother relapsed, and the chaos at home continued.
But something was different.
“God was with me in it.”
She began to understand that God does not wait until the end of a story to show up. He is present in the middle of it.
As Scripture reminds us:
Psalm 34:18
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
From Coping to Hoping
As her faith deepened, Kirby’s perspective began to shift.
“My way of coping is hoping,” she said.
Instead of placing her trust in circumstances, she anchored her hope in Christ.
“You can go through it without hope in Jesus or with hope in Jesus. And it’s very different.”
A Life Redeemed
Kirby went on to earn her master’s degree in theology. Today, she hosts the "Brought and Beloved" podcast and authored "Fabric of Hope: How God Weaves Redemption into Every Season."
Her message is rooted in what she has lived.
“Jesus really is the one we can put our full weight of hope in.”
She now sees a pattern in her story. God was working all along.
Genesis 50:20
What was meant for evil, God meant for good.
Holding On to Hope
For anyone walking through a difficult season, Kirby offers this reminder.
“Anchor your hope in Christ’s character, not your circumstances.”
And ask a different question.
“God, what do you want me to see here?”
Because even in the places you would not choose, God is still present. He is still working.
“Your story isn’t over and your pain is not wasted.”
Connect with Kirby
- Podcast: Brought and Beloved
- Book: Fabric of Hope: How God Weaves Redemption into Every Season
- Instagram & YouTube: @KirbyIsABoss
I’m Crystal Thornton, and this is God Stories, where every story points back to the One who changes everything.