For decades, Vivian and Darrin Mabuni have invested their lives in people—on college campuses, in churches, and within the sacred space of marriage. Their work has spanned generations, but their message remains grounded in a simple, enduring belief: that even in life’s most difficult seasons, faith and community can lead to a life of meaning and abundance.
Vivian, a national speaker, Bible teacher, podcast host, and author, speaks openly about the personal trials that have shaped her calling. Central among them is her battle with cancer, a journey she now reflects on from a place of remission and renewed purpose. Alongside her husband of more than three decades, she continues to share what she describes as a life lived not in scarcity, but in spiritual abundance.
“I feel like I am released to be who God’s made me to be,” Vivian said, reflecting on how embracing her calling as a teacher transformed her approach to ministry. “That has been really enjoyable and rewarding.”
(We invite you to listen to the conversation between Jalon Caldwell and Benjamin Watson in the podcast below).
A Turning Point Through Suffering
Vivian’s cancer diagnosis marked a profound shift—not just physically, but spiritually and emotionally. Having lived most of her life in good health, she admits that she once struggled to empathize with those facing chronic illness.
“I could not understand, unfortunately, and did not have a lot of compassion for those who dealt with physical ailment,” she said. “And then walking through our cancer journey… it was soul-altering.”
That experience reshaped her understanding of both suffering and faith. Rather than seeing hardship as isolating, she began to recognize the deep necessity of community—something she says is central to the Christian life.
“The Bible really does teach that the Christian life is about all of us,” Vivian explained. “God designed us to be in community.”
Part of that transformation also involved learning to receive help, something that did not come naturally. “I had been accustomed to wanting to help other people, but having difficulty letting people in,” she said. “And I still… wrestle with being transparent and vulnerable.”
A Husband’s Perspective: Faith in Action
For Darrin, the cancer journey was equally transformative, though in different ways. As a husband and father, he found himself navigating not only his own fears, but also the emotional weight carried by his family.
“We were in a season where we were fighting, and none of that mattered,” Darrin recalled. “What mattered was our relationship.”
He described the experience as a daily exercise in faith—one that required dependence on God in ways he had never previously experienced.
“How do you love someone who can’t take care of themself after surgery?” he said. “It was just day by day. But in it, it was like—it’s totally the Lord. God… gave me strength to love.”
That season deepened his belief that faith is not merely theoretical, but something lived out in the most practical and intimate moments of life.
Discipleship in a Distracted Generation
As longtime ministry leaders, the Mabunis are also deeply attuned to the challenges facing younger generations. Both expressed concern about what they see as a growing disconnect between people and foundational biblical teachings.
“This up-and-coming generation is increasingly less biblically literate,” Vivian said. “I think our devices are discipling us a lot more than the Bible.”
She emphasized the importance of bridging generational gaps, noting that older generations often have wisdom to offer but struggle to connect with younger audiences in meaningful ways.
Darrin echoed that concern, pointing to the role of relationships in spiritual growth. “Being able to do life with people,” he said, “that’s what makes the difference. Not just talking about it, but actually living it out together.”
In an era shaped by technology and increasing isolation, the couple believes that relational, “life-on-life” discipleship is more important than ever.
Marriage: A Lifelong Practice
This year marks nearly 35 years of marriage for the Mabunis, a milestone they credit not to perfection, but to intentionality. Both acknowledge that sustaining a relationship over decades requires consistent effort and humility.
“Left to ourselves, we will move toward selfishness and isolation,” Vivian said. “It takes intentionality to move toward each other.”
She pointed out that even small disagreements—about daily habits or routines—can reflect deeper challenges around communication and compromise. Over time, those tensions can grow if not addressed with care.
Darrin added that clear communication has been one of the most important skills they’ve developed. “It’s so easy to assume that what I said, she understood,” he said. “But I’ve had to learn to really listen and make sure I’m being clear.”
Looking back, Vivian noted one practice she wishes they had prioritized more: dedicated time together without distractions. “Having set times where we didn’t talk about the kids or ministry, but really focused on each other,” she said, “I think that would have helped prevent a lot of conflict.”
Balancing Family and Calling
Raising four children while pursuing a mission-driven life presented its own set of challenges. In today’s fast-paced and often overwhelming culture, Vivian believes the key lies in prioritization.
“The time will get filled—whether we choose it or it happens to us,” she said.
She referenced the classic metaphor of filling a jar with rocks, stones, and sand, explaining that the most important relationships—faith, spouse, and family—must come first.
“How is it that I can scroll for two hours and then feel like I don’t have enough time?” she said. “We all have the same 168 hours, but it’s easy to squander them.”
Finding Hope in Difficult Seasons
When asked what practical steps people can take during life’s hardest moments, both emphasized the importance of spiritual rhythms and community.
“My go-to would be to go to the Lord,” Vivian said. “But I would also say—find your people. When you’re going through the fire, it’s easy to get lost in your own mind.”
Darrin added that those habits must be built before crisis hits. “When the fire comes, those rhythms kick in,” he said. “Spending time in the Word, praying—those things prepare you.”
Together, they stress that resilience is not formed in isolation, but through consistent practices and supportive relationships.
Strengthening Marriages Today
In their current work with FamilyLife, the Mabunis engage directly with couples navigating the complexities of modern relationships. They see a range of challenges, from cultural skepticism about marriage to deeply ingrained patterns of selfishness.
“Marriage is under attack from the world system,” Vivian said. “We look at our differences as irreconcilable, without realizing that God brought us together intentionally.”
Darrin offered a simple but powerful reminder: “Your spouse is not your enemy.”
It’s a perspective, he said, that can shift the entire dynamic of a relationship.
Looking Ahead
Despite the challenges they’ve faced—personally and in their ministry—the Mabunis remain hopeful. Their message is not one of perfection, but of perseverance, grounded in faith and strengthened through community.
From newlyweds to couples married for more than 50 years, they continue to see transformation happen when people commit to growth and connection.
“There are people there just for a tune-up,” Vivian said of their recent work with couples. “And people who are really struggling. But it’s inspiring to see everyone still working on their marriage.”
For the Mabunis, that ongoing work is the point. Through every season—whether marked by joy, struggle, or uncertainty—they believe saying “yes” to God is a daily choice, one that leads not away from hardship, but through it, toward something deeper.
You can reach FamilyLife's Weekend to Remember here