“… But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant!” - 2 Corinthians 10:12 (NLT)
As a parent, have you ever felt like everyone else’s kids seem to be doing better in school, sports, and life than your kids? Your child might be the one who’s always sitting on the bench and never gets called into the game. Or maybe your son or daughter struggles academically. It can be so tempting to compare your child’s performance and abilities to another child’s performance and abilities. But the reality is, God made your child perfectly imperfect; and as parents, it’s our job to cultivate our children’s unique gifts, talents, passions, and abilities.
We fall into a dangerous “comparison trap” when we compare our kids to others. The Apostle Paul gives us great wisdom on unhealthy comparison in today’s verse.
So, how do we keep from falling into the comparison trap? Here are five suggestions:
1. Stabilize your God-given identity. Understand that every member of your family is “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). God made each of your kids unique. Help your kids embrace the person God created them to be.
2. Find ways to serve. Anxieties will vanish when you teach your kids to consider others more important than themselves (Philippians 2:3-4). When you serve, you shift your focus and your perspective off yourself and onto other people. Watch your family’s pity parties decrease as concern for others increases.
3. Focus on your child’s success. Celebrate the little victories. Don’t just celebrate straight A’s. Celebrate improvement. Compliment your child when you see them working hard. Cheer them on at each small milestone along the way.
4. Cultivate the character of Christ. Isn’t it humbling when we see other families thrive? Allow the success of others to humble you and make you more like Jesus (Romans 8:29).
5. Worship God with your life. Your son might be the quarterback of a team, or your daughter the class valedictorian. In this case, it might be easy to look down on other students who don’t excel in similar areas. Don’t give in to the temptation. If they’ve been given a more prominent platform, use it to point to Jesus (1 Corinthians 1:31).
Don’t allow other people to be your standard of measurement. Let Jesus set the standard.
Digging Deeper:
- In what ways do you struggle with comparison? How can you and your kids grow from these comparison traps?
