Jan 23 2013
Brant on Pre-Marital Intimacy

"On the blog: Sherri says TONS of single people are dealing with this question. So here goes.." ~ Brant

Blog: Marriage Is Body and Soul

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1/23/2013 2:22:41 PM
Angela Hauschildt United States
Angela Hauschildt
I lived with my boyfriend little over two years.We both said we were Christians. But not living.The way we should. We also had talked about getting. married . I finally talked to him and said no more sex. He was very supportive for a long nine months. We are now married and in church and both have a close. Relationship with. God. God started working on us soon as we made that decision. My phone is having such a hard time writing this sorry. Please share with her. Cause God really changed him and made. Him a better person. --
1/23/2013 2:28:45 PM
Natalie United States
Natalie
First off, I'd like to say a heartly amen to what Brant has said about this tough subject - sex before marriage is clearly scripturally wrong, and a sin which breaks God's heart.  Sex is a wedding gift from God, and no one ever opens a gift before it is given so why anyone you have sex before marriage.  My husband and I were 23 & 24 when we got married and we chose to wait.  We we're both convicted that it was sin. It was tough, because, of course, we were in love.  We both feel that, to this day, we recieved an extra blessing for our committment to abstinence that others may forfeit.  It is tough, but it can be done & for those who've already opened the gift prior to marriage I would encourage you to do some real soul searching as to whether or not this is the marriage partner for you. If a young man pressures his love into sex before marriage I would tend to think he is selfish and not stong enough to weather a marriage commitment for life.  God Bless!
1/23/2013 2:47:56 PM
Angela Hauschildt United States
Angela Hauschildt
Very good Natalie!  I had some men that were never supportive.  Men laughed at me and pressured me.My husband is the only one that never did those things. God really started blessing us cause of that decision. I'm so thankful for God for showing me what I really needed to do. It was a very long hard 9 months and God was with us the whole time.
1/23/2013 3:28:07 PM
Holly T Ashley United States
Holly T Ashley
As a Christian counselor, author, writer and speaker - a sinner saved by grace - and down Vanessa's road WAY to many times -

Why are we not calling this out! Why is your blog so passive - !

Two things need to be noted - Vannessa - get out! what are doing living with a man you aren't married to? appreciate your honesty - he's not saved, the fact that you are convicted tells me you are. "Now go and sin no more!"

#2 - The fact that he is NOT convicted - even attempting to justify it - and relinquishing the Bible to nothingness...

Tells me in NO UNCERTAIN terms - He is NOT saved.

Christ tells us that He will not have fellowship with the darkness - that we will know our brothers and sisters by their "fruits" - that if we love HIM we will keep his commandments - what does all of that mean?

That means that the road to Heaven is VERY narrow! and "There will be many that say 'Lord, Lord... didn't I do ________ (fill in the blank here)in your name...' and Jesus will say I never knew you," right as He casts them into hell.

Pray for his salvation and run like the wind - this was your "Road to Damascus" MOMENT!
1/23/2013 3:33:07 PM
Holly T Ashley United States
Holly T Ashley
Irony: ??? Body and Soul"
My husband (Cross Strength Ministries) and I are formulating a company called "Body and Soul" Just for this reason!

We will host retreats for couples who think they want to get married - (He's a pastor, I'm a counselor - we both are fitness professionals) - this is such an issue with young couples today that do not have the tools necessary to combat societal pressures and frankly- the disobedience of the saints who are called to turn them back into the arms of Christ - but accept their actions (like living together) as the "new normal" and it's NOT!

I hope we can help them build up their arsonals and sharpen their swords - so that they can fight the good fight and WIN!
1/23/2013 4:11:54 PM
warren skaggs United States
warren skaggs
Try your best not to do it, but remember gods grace will forgive you if you slip. So if you love that person stay in love and don't let your mistakes take you from someone who makes you feel loved. God doesn't take you away from his love just because you fall. God Bless!!!
1/23/2013 4:12:53 PM
Mark United States
Mark
I threw my virginity away on someone who was not my wife nor would be. I tell the young ladies in our youth ministry all the time guys lie through their teeth to get sex.I came to the point that once it started to get physical God mattered more and I'd break it off.

My 2 cents is this. You want someone who is going to push you towards God and what He has for you, not pull you away from God. The fact that this young woman is convicted is good but the boyfriend is clearly comfortable in living in sin and making excuses for it. God is not his priority and he's willing to damage her walk to satisfy his physical desires. 2 totally different directions do not bode well for a marriage. God's desire and direction will ultimately have a happier and less scarred life.
1/23/2013 4:24:42 PM
danny buckley United States
danny buckley
Think about your husband in this situation.  Truth is, at this time only God knows who he is.  I thought I had found my true love. After over a year of dating, we were convinced that this was it and since we were getting married, we gave in to temptation. Five years and an engagement later, she decided to see what else was out there. Only God knew that at some point later in life I would actually find  the wife He had created for me.  Eventually, I had to look this beautiful gift from God in the eyes and tell her that I had not waited for her.  We have grown over the years, but the damage was severe and nearly irreversible.  So, think about your husband, whoever he may be.  God does know, and He's preparing you for each other.  So, prepare yourself for him.
1/23/2013 4:40:15 PM
Jean Marie United States
Jean Marie
Hearing about this on my drive in to to work tonight really touched my heart.
I had a very similar situation a little over a year ago and I gave into his pressuring and as a result I found myself farther from God than I have every been in my life and then I discoverd that I was pregnant. Now I am on my own and I gave my little boy up for adoption and he is living with a wonderful family!
What it comes down to is even if you think you are going to get married there is no guarentee. I am forever going to regret that I will not be able to give my future husband that part of me.
God however has forgiven me and He will forgive anyone who asks Him. I just had to learn to trust Him! He used my tough situation to show me how much He loves me and how He will forgive me and take care of me no matter what.
Always remember that no matter what you do you God loves you!