Jul 10 2012
One Question Survey: The One Thing You Can't Say...

Here's a question, prompted by an interview I just did for an upcoming podcast with author Anne Jackson.

I'd love your honest, heart-level response, based on your own life:


What is one thing you feel you can't say in church?


Comments (157) -

7/10/2012 11:34:39 AM
Rachel United States
"And also with you." Catholics will get this. Smile
7/10/2012 11:36:16 AM
Trisha United States
I feel like you can't say anything that is highly offensive at church, ex: talking about politics, differing opinions of volatile nature.  It's okay in a small group or one on one but in church itself, I would feel uncomfortable about bringing it up.
7/10/2012 11:38:08 AM
Broken United States
I can't tell anyone how broken I am. I don't feel like it's a place where I can be honest about what is going on in my life, and the tragedies I have lived through. I don't feel like anyone cares, and if they did show the least amount of concern, I would fall to pieces. I don't want that either, so I put up this wall and manage to keep a smile on my face, but nobody knows.
7/10/2012 11:38:21 AM
Beth United States
That sometimes I have doubts about things
7/10/2012 11:41:18 AM
Lindsay United States
"Maybe Muslims aren't going to Hell."
7/10/2012 11:42:44 AM
Esmeralda United States
Personally, I don't feel that there is anything in particular that shouldn't be said, however I think its a given that one should be respectful in church and not purposely try to stir controversy within the church
7/10/2012 11:43:31 AM
JM United States
You can confess that you are a lying, thieving, alcoholic torturer of small animals, and the church will rally around and pray for your healing. But if you confess that you have any kind of sexual sin, such as a porn addiction or lusting after your neighbor's wife, you will never be allowed to serve in the church again. You will become a pariah. There is no support, no forgiveness. Let's ignore for the moment the statistic that says 80% of men (including pastors and church leaders) have struggled in this area. This has got to change!
7/10/2012 11:44:14 AM
Lori United States
That our worship team is not very good.
7/10/2012 11:46:25 AM
brooke United States
that i struggle with anxiety and recently went on medication for it...
7/10/2012 11:46:58 AM
eileen United States
The church I go to is a very blunt and open church when it comes to how we talk. It's kinda been dubbed the "New Hope Way." We don't mask ourselves behind the "churchy way of doing things". I love it. Everyone there can freely speak their mind with out fear of being judged. Every single person in our church is loved on, ministered to, fellowshiped with, and is asked to come just as they are - as "REAL" people who believe that Jesus is their Lord and savior and know that no matter what they say or do, He loves them just as they are.
7/10/2012 11:47:57 AM
Courtney United States
The addictions I struggle with in life.
7/10/2012 11:48:09 AM
Lorissa United States
I don't fee there is anything I can't say as I have poured my heart out at church. I think that is what church is for.... a safe place to talk to/about the junk in your life where God is there to guide you through the tough times.
7/10/2012 11:50:41 AM
Lindsay United States
Providing details of my past like that I have had an abortion, or other things I have done prior to being born again and finding christ....His forgiveness and love is all I need and I guess sharing it with others leaves me open to their judgements (which as Christians we really should leave that to the lord....but that's hardly the case) especially when the church is handing out anti abortion dvd's during Service.
7/10/2012 11:51:22 AM
Jocelyn United States
That my son is gay.
7/10/2012 11:56:15 AM
Mandy United States
I feel like politics should not be brought up in church. I expressed my feelings on facebook and a church friend ripped into me and told me I shouldn't think that way. Nobody should be told what to think or not think and politics should be left out of church.
7/10/2012 11:56:57 AM
bethany United States
I'd say ur not suppose to say anything bad about the Pastor or the Church!
7/10/2012 11:58:12 AM
these pretzels are making me thirsty United States
these pretzels are making me thirsty
that I'm a democrat and I voted for Obama.
7/10/2012 11:58:22 AM
kim United States
"hey, that's a really awesome tattoo!"  
7/10/2012 11:58:31 AM
Christie United States
I feel I can't say that I fully support LGBTQI people in (my former) church. Nor can I say that I AM represented by the meaning of one of those letters. I might have found a new church that supports me, though. I'm excited to be in a place where ALL are loved and supported as children of God and nothing less.
7/10/2012 11:58:47 AM
Dale United States
Where's the bathroom? And I'm being serious. Everyone looks at you like you have 5 heads if you ask this simple question...
7/10/2012 11:59:13 AM
Grant United States
When the church has a lay on hands for healing session, and the pastor actually starts trying to push you down for a reaction while praying for you. I always want to say knock it off, let the Lord do his work, we are not here for your work. But I am sure I would be quickly corrected for my actions
7/10/2012 12:00:24 PM
Michael United States
Whatever you do, above all, you must NEVER, even at gun point or threatened by torture, EVER, ever ever ever admit that you might even be a tiny, little bit gay. It will be the end of your life.
7/10/2012 12:00:44 PM
Greg Johnson United States
Greg Johnson
I suppose for me that the one thing I can't say is honestly and truly how broken I am sometimes and some of the things that I still fear.
7/10/2012 12:04:08 PM
Jason Hannon United States
Jason Hannon
I'm a pyrotechnic.
"Hey! After church you wanna come help me make a few pounds of napalm?"
7/10/2012 12:07:31 PM
Nicole United States
"I don't think I believe in 6 day creation."
7/10/2012 12:08:36 PM
Cindy United States
Pretty much anything that sounds depressing or negative.  I couldn't for the longest time even tell anyone that I was struggling with bisexuality.  I have to be a happy, shiny person or they'll think Satan's got me in his pocket.  I have look like I have my crap together, plain and simple.
7/10/2012 12:10:50 PM
Me United States
There are alot of things I haven't shared but nothing I couldn't share.
The one think I wouldn't say in church are swear words, they just sound sooooo horrible.  I hope I never slip.
7/10/2012 12:12:04 PM
Bill United States
I don't feel free to talk about real problems -- things in my life, the lives of my family members, things in the church fellowship. I feel like problems must be discussed in generalities. This seems neither Biblical nor useful.
7/10/2012 12:16:32 PM
Kris United States
I honestly cannot think of anything I have wanted to say in my church but felt I couldn't.  Attending other churches are different.  I have family that attend a different church and if you draw attention to something they teach that isn't Biblicaly supported, they just quickly dismiss it.  I don't always feel that you are really taken seriously unless you are a member.
7/10/2012 12:21:03 PM
Lynne United States
Any obscenity.
7/10/2012 12:21:24 PM
Lynn United States
Last Sunday I felt that I couldn't say "stop laughing at him" (the guy who was sleeping during service)--especially after the Pastor just told the story of Sampson being mocked by the Philistines. I went and woke him up..
7/10/2012 12:21:32 PM
Amanda United States
To stand up and confess that you just shot up with heroine in the church bathroom. You could say it but it would be an interesting test to see the reaction that ensued. Most would pull away but I dare say Jesus would not. It is my sincere prayer that I though shocked would not back away.
7/10/2012 12:22:48 PM
Jen United States
I can't find a single verse in the Bible that states in the moment we die, we go to Heaven.
7/10/2012 12:23:08 PM
Laura United States
I couldn't say how broken I was after my husband divorced me.  NO one wants to hear about divorce, almost as if it is a disease they can catch.  I will forever feel like people of the church condemn me for HIS decision.  
7/10/2012 12:33:34 PM
rilli United States
um... i honestly cant say that i can say anything
7/10/2012 12:36:04 PM
Michael United States
It makes a difference if you're talking about saying something in a public forum, as in standing on the stage and saying something to everyone at once, or saying something in the church but to an individual or a group who are having a conversation. There are things I wouldn't normally get into in front of the entire church at once that I wouldn't hesitate to talk about in front of people from my church in casual conversation. We're fortunate in that we go to a very accepting and loving church, and I can't think of anything I could say in an appropriate social context with people from my church that would result in my being shunned or asked not to come back. At a previous church I would have been uncomfortable (and probably felt repercussions) if I said that I had left-leaning political opinions. I know in some churches, I would do well not to mention that my wife was divorced when we met. Neither of those things would be a problem at the church we attend now.

I wouldn't continue to attend a church where I felt I had to hide something to be accepted. God accepts us, cleansed by the blood of Jesus, and churches should accept us as human beings too, even if we are Democrats and divorcees (or whatever other differences there may be).
7/10/2012 12:36:41 PM
Heidi United States
It seems in most churches that I have been to, no one likes to talk about real problems going on in their lives. Its fine when the pastor tells a story about a problem he had back in high school, but when its current, its a little too personal. People say they wanna know how things are going in your life, but do they really want to know that your eating disorder, or about your addiction? Would they even feel comfortable having their children around you after knowing that about you?
Not all churches have a problem like this, but I do believe alot of them do, and it seems much safer to put on the smile and answer the question with "I'm doing great, Thanks."
7/10/2012 12:36:43 PM
Erica United States
I go to an amazing church where there is SOOO much freedom to share from stage about struggles & recovery processes. In explaining the atmosphere our pastor called it "cultivating a community of redemption". With that being said, we have never heard a story of a convicted murder or child molester yet....I wonder if the Church is really for that & if not, why? how do we get there?
7/10/2012 12:37:43 PM
N. United States
That I struggle with depression - I fear most people would just assume that I'm not a very good Christian.  Also I don't think I would tell anyone that my marriage is very broken right now...everyone else's seems to be so perfect (and I know they aren't), but since everyone else isn't sharing that openly I wouldn't want to be the only one.
7/10/2012 12:40:46 PM
Tanakali United States
In my youth group, I feel like I can say almost anything. We have such great discussions, and I don't think I've ever felt like I want to say something but I couldn't while I was at church. Although, in church itself, I tend to get frustrated and annoyed when the priest rips on LGBTQ people. Love the sinner, hate the sin. We are taught by God to forgive, and not to hate others. We all have things we do wrong, and until we are completely perfect, we shouldn't be allowed to judge other people. That's God's job, hence He is the only perfect one.
7/10/2012 12:41:56 PM
Must I Follow My Shepherd? United States
Must I Follow My Shepherd?
That my Pastor is not preaching directly from the Scripture; that the Holy Word of God is being interpreted into what he wants it to say.
7/10/2012 12:42:59 PM
Zack United States
Conflict of interest when the the new missionary supported by the church was the former pastor who was on the missions board selecting who to support.
7/10/2012 12:43:37 PM
Cat V. United States
Cat V.
There are several things I can't say at church, but they all fall under the same category, the "hot topics". Most people in the church think one way, and if you think another way then, "your obviously not a Christian and need to get down on your needs to beg for forgiveness." I've just learned to keep quite about hot topics because people won't have a dialog, they have a shouting, judgmental match.
7/10/2012 12:45:59 PM
Heather Sargent United States
Heather Sargent
How it was the church that let my family down when we needed them the most.  I spend nearly 6 months on bed rest with my youngest (who is mildly autistic) and had to switch to a closer church.  So we "attended" two churches.  We tried to get to our home church but sometimes could only go to the one closer to us but more times than not couldn't go to either (for the last 4 months doc took my 4 hours a day on my feet away and brought it down to 0).  Because of this I couldn't work so my husband worked my job and his, and I had to send my other kids to a relative's house for the whole summer (little guy was born September 1).  When asking either church for help during this time we were turned down because we weren't attending (yeah, duh!) and one even went so far as to say, "But isn't God good?"  Yes, God is awesome, my circumstances are not and all that makes me want to do is educate you on what it's like being on this side.  

I would LOVE to tell the church that it is them (us) that makes many people not want to come.  That it is us that stands between them and God.  I've not been the same since and we don't often go to any church now though we still believe.  (Not only because of that but also, as I stated, our guy is autistic, it's hard to go anywhere at times).

I also think we have it so very wrong about many issues (such as gay rights).  Who are we to tell people they are wrong?  I thought we were supposed to pull the plank out of our own eye before removing the speck from our brother's.  Just my 2 cents.  We look like a bunch of out of touch jerks sticking our noses in to make judgments on things we know nothing about.  Let's get educated about things and get to know the people suffering, really know them, before telling them they are doing it all wrong and condemning them.  I think my pastor said it best, "Christians are what stand in the way of God."  Something like that.  We need to get out of our own heads and into the hearts of the world.  Life is messy, you're going to get dirty.
7/10/2012 12:48:50 PM
Jason Thompson United States
Jason Thompson
I don't think there's anything off topic at the church I go to.  Grant it, there is a time and place for things.  For example, you wouldn't want to go into a preschool classroom with preschoolers and talk about adult problems, but I'm guessing that's not what the question is asking.
7/10/2012 1:00:07 PM
Alysa United States
I feel like I can't say that I feel lonely or that like people don't seem to care. I'm in that weird phase in life where most of the people knew me as a young child growing up, but now I'm an adult and most people still avoid me or treat me as if I can't hold a decent conversation. There are only a few people close to my age, and it's hard for me to feel wanted...
7/10/2012 1:03:11 PM
Micah United States
@ N.
I would have to agree with the depression. One of my best friends committed suicide many years ago and I fell into a long depression, about 5 years long. I never felt as if I could talk with anyone at my church about what was going on without felling as if I was being judged. So I stopped going.

It wasn't until I made a friend that had been suicidal, and we had many long talks about why she had been down that path and what brought her out of it. The answer was simple. Grace. No matter what I was felling guilty of, no matter of the wrongs I had made, no matter of the losses around me. Grace comforted me. If God had not put her in my life I would probably still be depressed.

We all fell broken and inadequate at some point in our lives and I don't believe it is a sin to fell that way. It is an opportunity to let God show himself to you, all you have to do is be open to Him.

My advice to your current marriage crisis is to be diligent in your pursuit of God first and make him the center of your marriage. (I know, sounds easy enough, but it is a constant up hill battle without him)

I will keep you in my prays.
7/10/2012 1:10:17 PM
Wayne United States
Anything that may be outside of the doctrinal norm for your church, in fear of starting a confrontation with the few hard-liners who have been taught one way their WHOLE LIFE and even when presented with the TRUTH IN SCRIPTURE refuse to abandon or even consider the evidence that they could, possibly be wrong.  Here's my Fav 3..

1.  How much time passed between Gen 1-1 and 1-2?  (this generally produces blank stares or immediate anger)

2.  How do you lose yoru salvation? (no matter what church you are in, this one will draw some ire)- oh and for the record, The blood of my savior is enough to save forever..

3.  And my personal favorite to get them riled up is this statement (and it is a true statement to boot):  Homosexuality is a Sexual Sin, Just like any other sexual sin and should be treated accordingly.  There is no real difference between a homosexual and a serial adulter.  Both sin, and continue in that sin over time.
7/10/2012 1:23:04 PM
Lisa United States
The church as we know it - with walls, preachers, and leadership teams - is a home for power hungry and abusive people who manipulate and brainwash the weak, innocent or different.  I love God, but churches scare me.
7/10/2012 1:25:20 PM
David United States
This place looks so clean.
(I'm the custodian)
7/10/2012 1:30:30 PM
Christina United States
"I wish I went to church with real sinners and not people who pretend to be saints."
7/10/2012 1:30:54 PM
Struggling United States
I could never (small group or prayer of confession during the alter call) say how a huge part of me hates myself for aborting a baby that was the result of an affair. May 1 will forever be a day of infamy for me.
One more thing:
I could never tell anybody that even though I care for and respect my husband of 23 years I only love him as a friend and don't want to be married to him anymore. I made a covenant with God however, so married to him I will remain.
7/10/2012 1:32:50 PM
Shawna United States
I was raised in church and was told that Jesus turned the water into grape juice not wine. I have a hard time telling others in church that I don't agree. I think Jesus drank wine and I also enjoy drinking on occasion. (I don't agree with drunkenness)
Also, the word "sex" is treated like a swear word at church. This creates a "sinful" feeling for some people, even in their marriage bed. I feel the book "Love & Respect" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs addresses this issue very well.
7/10/2012 1:33:03 PM
Sheila United States
Sharing hard times that other church goers are experiencing.  There's such a taboo about gossiping that no one even wants to share so that others can pray for those who are going through tough times.  Who can go through this walk alone with encouragement and exhortation from other believers?
7/10/2012 1:37:24 PM
Ruth United States
That alot of churches dont mean what they say. As humans we want to accept only what we want to. If a church grows a hard heart to something, nobody likes to talk about it. Like the pastoral staff is to worried what people will think.
7/10/2012 1:48:45 PM
Laura United States
Mental illness.  Bipolar disorder runs in my family.  It has come down through the generations.  Many were undiagnosed but all the signs were there.  I have bipolar disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder and ADHD.  I take medications to treat these and no one besides my family and anyone I choose to tell, know that I have mental illness.  Several of my children have bipolar disorder and ADHD also.  Most Christians think that the body can be ill but the brain can't.  They think we need more faith and that prayer is the only answer to equalizing the imbalances in our brains.  Do people who suffer from diabetes simply need more faith and to pray?  I have prayed for years that God would take this from me and that my children would not suffer with this, but He has chosen otherwise. We take our medications, and therefore our illnesses are not apparent to others.  But verbally revealing it to those in church, and 9 times out of 10 we are shunned by them.
7/10/2012 1:51:14 PM
Shere Shingler United States
Shere Shingler
Should Christians have conflict? I realize we are all human...but Christian conflict must really break Gods heart! Sometimes church is like a business and there are bi laws and procedures that come across Like politicians and Pharisees. My love  is usually so freely given
I am broken and humbled I wave my white flag in surrender....where are you lord? I have pulled out of all leadership ,I am afraid of getting hurt again. God either ordained this or allowed this. The hurt I feel is 10 xs worse because I have always felt safe in church...now I am guarded( I don't want to be;(
7/10/2012 1:57:18 PM
Molly United States
I would say that the one thing I could never say in church is how much I blamed God when my best friend took her life four years ago. I also can't talk about how the church let me down and they were not there for me even though I was 16 years old and confused and hurting and depressed.

However, I have moved since then and I feel as if the churches in the area I live in are great! They love when people share their testimony and talk about the good and the bad!
7/10/2012 2:12:59 PM
Robin United States
I am a democrat.
7/10/2012 2:16:07 PM
Valerie United States
That non-Christian counselors are sometimes a valid answer.  I got my masters in mental health counseling and was doing my masters work the same time I got saved.  I see parallels in Christianity and counseling.  

I can tell others that I was involved in the LDS and Catholic church, that I've been divorced, that I still struggle with swearing like a sailor- but that's the one piece I keep pretty quiet.
7/10/2012 2:33:05 PM
Masquerade United States
I don't feel like it's a place where I can be honest about what is going on in my life, and the tragedies I am going through. I can't tell anyone how broken how depressed I am. I  am on staff,  I am suppose to be perfect .  And If I did I feel as if people will just say "put your big girl underwear on".  I don't feel like anyone cares. I put up this wall and manage to keep a smile on my face, but nobody knows. The song Stained Glass Masquerade says it all "The performance is convincing  And we know every line by heart  Only when no one is watching  Can we really fall apart"
7/10/2012 2:36:06 PM
Rebecca Horan United States
Rebecca Horan
I am blessed with a church where I feel that I can say anything... All might not agree... But that's their issue, not mine.
7/10/2012 2:38:58 PM
lorrie United States
We can say anything - literally anything
Our pastor in sermon once said (paraphrasing) "if you don't love and en courage your daughters then some p@#$erhead will"
Raw and real at faithpromise - love my church!
7/10/2012 2:43:09 PM
Rebecca Horan United States
Rebecca Horan
Oh I thought of one, not that I can't say it I have, and some got rather upset. I didn't much care.... How is it that homosexuality is considered a one way ticket to hell if God loves all his children and Jesus died for our sins... NOT SOME OF US.... There's no A list you need to be on... Who are we to judge?? Not for us to judge..... Not at all.
7/10/2012 2:57:49 PM
raelee United States
i feel i can't say anything too personal at church. i've been shunned in the past by people who i thought were friends, so now i don't ever know if there is anyone i can trust at church. obviously we all have sins and struggles, but mostly churches seem to be a place to just say everything is fine and don't go too deep about anything.
7/10/2012 2:58:33 PM
Morgan United States
The one thing I feel I can't talk about in church is my social anxiety. People in the church seem to assume that because you are a Christian you are automatically an outgoing person who just loves spending all there time with other people. I struggle to go to church and often have anxiety attacks in anticipation of Sunday morning services, but I feel everyone would think there is something wrong with me or that I'm not a "good Christian" if I told them about it. This goes right along with the other comments that have been made about mental health. A lot of church goers seem to assume that if you are a really good Christian you won't suffer from any sort of mental or psychological problems, which just isn't true.
7/10/2012 3:24:49 PM
Stacy United States
I know others have said it already I'm sure but there would be a response of shock and horror if I admitted in church that I'm a registered Democrat, voted for President Obama in 2008 and will again in 2012 and I'm not therefore a Communist or a terrible person.
7/10/2012 3:26:19 PM
Still Hurting United States
Still Hurting
1. "I love the Harry Potter book series."  I've had Christian "friends" drop me like a hot potato when I've revealed this.

2. "I feel pushed to the side and taken for granted."  I used to be a big part of what was happening at my church, I knew a lot of people, a lot of people knew me, and multiple people lead different areas of ministry, and we all worked together and supported one another.  When the new pastor came, it was all about him, and not about "us".  I don't want to seem rebellious, because he is our God-given leader, and I love him very much, but why not give props where due more?  Why not a little less focus on the pastor and more on those who wouldn't get recognized otherwise?

3. "I felt my church abandoned me after my first miscarriage."  Some of my Christian friends loved on me and talked me through it, but there's no ministry to those who have suffered that loss.  I went to my pastor for comfort, and he couldn't help me.  I had deep spiritual questions after that happened, and no one was there to address them.  No one knew how to minister to me.  So, again, shoved aside.  

4. "I feel like I'm the only one suffering from infertility in the church; does anyone care?"

5. "Does anyone care that I lost a second child through miscarriage?"  

7/10/2012 3:44:02 PM
Patricia Worth United States
Patricia Worth
perhaps it's just because i am new to being christian, but i feel the hardest thing is to admit i don't fully trust god, and that the bible is REALLY hard for me to read. i will be 32 and i have spent the last 29 years lost inside my head, having been through what i have i don't trust anyone,not even myself. and it's hard to admit you don't trust in god, someone who you KNOW has been there...but in my life all things good have always disappeared...either walked away or died... i am have always had a BELIEF in god, but was closed to his love, and had not trust in him...
7/10/2012 3:45:05 PM
Christy United States
Children addicted to pornography on the internet.
7/10/2012 3:45:57 PM
Adam United States
F- you, Ryan; that was totally uncalled for, feeding my Jewish friend bacon without her consent... and the way you laughed as she became convinced she was going to Hell, then called her an ethnic slur. F- you Ryan, F- you.

Ok, seriously; profanity is really about all I'd feel uncomfortable shouting in church.
7/10/2012 3:52:54 PM
Christy United States
Mental health issues involving children and teens.
7/10/2012 3:59:22 PM
Andrea United States
Enough with the "seeker sensitive" garbage. Let's just preach the word of God. Really, really preach the word--dig deep. Read more than a few scriptures each week. Let the Holy Spirit lead us, not our current theme. Was Jesus worried about stepping on toes? He's so much bigger than that.
7/10/2012 4:03:11 PM
LJW United States
1. I would come to church more often if I wasn't bombarded by people asking "do you come here often? join this, donate that, volunteer here, come this day...."I love God, but I feel EXTREMELY uncomfortable going to church and being asked all these questions at once. My husband and I want to get know listen/observe/enjoy the people of the church before we start in on things. I don't like admitting that we feel more comfortable at home in my affordable clothes talking with God instead.

2.  Sin is sin. We are not suppose to judge....so why is it so HARD for people to accept homosexuality and so EASY to accept premarital sex or infidelity?  NONE OF US ARE PERFECT!

3. It would be nice to hear regular churcher goers admit that they too are like the rest of us...struggling with something and not above reproach

.......GEEZ, I feel bad admitting these things
7/10/2012 4:06:08 PM
Christy United States
A church is a lot like a hospital.  You see broken and hurt people.  Yet, so many will not get Christian counseling to get the help.  What is so taboo about getting Christian counseling?  Nothing is wrong with it.
7/10/2012 4:21:33 PM
Crystal United States
I feel like you can't speak against a sin separately from speaking against a person. People have made their sin part of who they are and get offended because you say something against "who they are". Hating a sin is not the same as hating someone who commits them. Many churches for example that have become tolerant of having homosexual persons attend their church have stopped preaching against any sexual morality. There is a difference between loving someone anyway, and condoning or helping them justify their sin. Jesus said not to judge, he also said "your sins are forgiven, go and sin no more" This doesn't mean any one of us is capable of not sinning for the rest of our lives. "all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God". But don't stop preaching about sin because you know individual people's sins. Its a whole package. Discern but don't condemn, that is Gods job, He hates SIN; Jesus loves sinners anyway and is ready to forgive. Just because there is something in our life that seems impossible for us to stop doing, doesn't mean its not a sin.
7/10/2012 4:36:12 PM
Jack United States
I have to say that in the congregation, it would be hard to talk about personal things, even though it is a small church. In my small group, it is easier. I've not been there long, but my pastor has the audacity to call homosexuality what it is- SIN, just like sexual relations outside of marriage is SIN, period. I have to disagree with the poster who said "Who are we to say they are wrong?" regarding gay rights. They ARE wrong, but also lost, in need of prayer and love. That lifestyle is a sin. The Holy Bible, the very Words of God declare it to be an abomination in His Eyes. The so-call gay rights issue is nothing more than a thin veneer for making this abomination accepted and "woe to those who call good evil and evil good..."(Isaiah 5:20). Sin is sin.
Within a small group it is much easier to talk about things, but really not within the whole congregation.
I feel like singles who are past their 30s are seriously overlooked and even ignored in all the churches, but it's hard to say that. Everything is geared towards married people, even sermons and singles are pushed aside. If a person is not married, it is as if they are a second class citizen or nonexistent in the church today and this issue is something that's hard or impossible to bring up in church.
Also, talking about the Rapture. People look at you with a blank stare or they scoff at you. Yes, believers scoff at the thought of Jesus' soon coming and don't want to hear about how close we are to that happening, given what is happening around the world, in the nation, all the things happening at once and rapidly. I've actually had Christians say to me or declare they don't want Jesus to come back now because they have more evangelism to do, their families aren't saved yet and I get the very distinct impression, they still have one foot in the world. In spite of their words and the truth of them (because one of those Christians does have unsaved family) all I can do is shut my mouth and shake my head in shock, disbelief and hurt at how that must grieve the Lord, but that goes toward more proof that we ARE in the last days, indeed the last hours and the scoffers, even within the church, or especially within the church, are out in full force. You can't talk about this in church either unless you want to be scoffed at or ignored.
It's sad, but true. Sometimes where you should be able to speak freely is the last place you CAN speak. May the Lord God help us all.
7/10/2012 4:49:05 PM
Jigsaw United States
Agreeing with earlier comments, I think the main thing for me would be mental illness. I have clinical depression, and it's not something I'd really like to say in front of my church. I mean, I think the other kids in my youth group and some of the adults would be understanding, but I'm a little wary. It may be because I have issues with it in my house, since one of my family members is convinced it's just because I "don't have enough faith" and I'll be entirely better and happy if I just read my Bible. :/
7/10/2012 5:10:49 PM
Sad but True United States
Sad but True
Many of the other comments are sad but true.  I have learned to be only superficial with most people in church because that's really all they want. I know who to talk to when I need to discuss real issues with someone.  The truth is, the others do not need to know my issues anyway.

God wants us to be open and honest and talk with him about everything we are dealing with.  He even tells us to cast those cares on Him.  Unfortunately, people, even the most righteous, are not as forgiving and loving.  The good news is that we do not place our lives and our hearts in the hands of people, but in the hands of God.  Any time that we look for God qualities in people we will be disappointed - mainly because they are broken and struggling with many of the same issues we deal with.
7/10/2012 5:11:50 PM
Leah United States
I'm 23 and haven't been to church in a long time but I'd like to go back. Sometimes I feel I can't connect with other Christian people my age there were so many girls pretending to be something they're not, perfect and do good going on mission trips feeding the homeless. Meanwhile places not in church, they were gossipy, mean spirited high schoolish bullies who called me "old and boring" for not wanting to join them at clubs go drinking or hear about their sex lives. I felt there was no one I could talk to. I want to go back but don't know where.
7/10/2012 5:26:59 PM
Sherri United States
Roll tide! - stirs up too many negative emotions that distract from Him
7/10/2012 5:52:23 PM
Brandon United States
hypocrite i feel like thats something everyone doesnt want to talk about. Why are the things we believe in church seem to be different then the way we act outside of it. Do we just go to church to belong to a social group?
7/10/2012 6:26:49 PM
Charly S. United States
Charly S.
Sex...My youth groups always talked about staying pure, however they never seemed to back it up.  It was just "Stay Pure! *insert bible verse* Abstinance is Best! *insert inspirational song* Buy this $25 promise ring!"  Yes that night it was a sure thing I would not lose my virginity. Then the next day I was back in the world. Churches are really good at selling abstinance, for that night. They don't really provide resources to stay on the path. I've never had a youth pastor offer their time to talk with us if we were struggling.  I went to church regularly and felt that I had no one to talk to about this. That's sad. They need to explain purity better, stop selling useless rings, and actually provide resources for teens.
7/10/2012 6:39:25 PM
James Poteet II United States
James Poteet II
"Does anybody else notice that God isn't here?"
7/10/2012 6:41:39 PM
:) United States
discipleship- and the consequences for not selling out our heart for jesus. the idea that giving up our lives for him results in true life, and that everything here is 'vanity' or nothingness... chasing the wind.
7/10/2012 6:42:32 PM
Kevin K United States
Kevin K
Doubts. Fears. Weaknesses.
7/10/2012 6:55:11 PM
Struggling United States
That I was once gay and still struggle with it.
7/10/2012 7:01:20 PM
Ben United States
Hold my Beer, Im going down for altar call.
7/10/2012 7:03:22 PM
Christina United States
My divorce.
7/10/2012 7:10:45 PM
Grateful believer that struggles with...... United States
Grateful believer that struggles with......
Ive noticed alot of these comments are relating to personal issues where people are afraid to remove that "Sunday Mask". The mask we put on that tells everyone, we are "Okay", when were not. Dont compare your insides to their outsides. Most people are struggling with something, they are just to afraid or prideful and wont admit it. Especially in a place full of "perfect" people. I found a place that shows you that God loves you just the way you are, despite your blemishes and flaws. A safe place to share your "junk" with other messy Christian people. Its called Celebrate  Recovery. It can be found at hundreds of Christian churches around the world. They give you the tools and courage to learn to live life on life's terms. And that God loves you anyway. Im not ashamed to tell people in my church of 5,000, that I struggled with pornography. They even taped a testimony that they play on their website and in services, promoting CR. Check it out at Mission68.org Look in the Mercy ministries section, under Celebrate Recovery.
Bottom line, take off that mask, and enjoy the peace that comes with admitting that you are wonderfully and beautifully made, blemishes and all.
7/10/2012 7:38:30 PM
I am not a Republican United States
I am not  a Republican
Why will no one ever volunteer for stuff

For other posters...if you are going to a church where your needs are not being met or you can't tell people you are hurting....you need to follow God to another church.

If you are looking for a place for the broken, check out Celebrate Recovery.  It's Christ centered recovery for ANYTHING that has happened to you...abuse, anxiety, sexual addiction, abortion, shoplifting, eating disorders, depression, doubt, ...seriously anything!  It will be frightening and hard, but it will change your life!
7/10/2012 7:45:39 PM
Corey United States
I don't go to church.

The responses here explain why.

Thank you everyone for posting, this helps me a lot reading through all of them, I mean this very sincerely.
7/10/2012 7:46:00 PM
Ken United States
Hey!  I'm surrounded by hundreds of people, but I'm ALL ALONE!!!!!!!
7/10/2012 7:52:52 PM
Grateful believer that struggles with...... United States
Grateful believer that struggles with......
@Corey, you dont have to go to church to have a relationship with God. God is everywhere. "A" church is a building, "The" Church is the people that are believers that do not judge you. There are a few of us out there. Most of whom Ive found at Celebrate Recovery. CR is my friday night "Church". The people there are real and transparent. I dont worry about being judged as not good enough, by my church attendance. They love me as Christ did, unconditionally. Praying for ya man.
7/10/2012 7:57:39 PM
kt United States
What if we're wrong about this whole thing? What if we've just deluded ourselves into believing a perpetual myth?
7/10/2012 8:08:24 PM
sarah United States
i feel like i can't talk about everything that's going on at home. even though a lot of my church family knows some of the things, i feel like they can't understand completely... also they don't know everything that's going on, they only really know the surface things...if that makes sense at all.
7/10/2012 8:15:21 PM
Anjel United States
I'm  struggling financially and I depend on food stamps to survive. I'm not sure if it's because they think I'm holding out my hand, or they think I have a disease, or maybe they're afraid being friends with me will lower their social status in the church. These are the same people who run down and throw money on the altar steps when the prosperity preacher is in town.
7/10/2012 8:22:24 PM
Susan United States
That I think "the church congregation" is a bigger hypocrite than non-Christians. That sometimes I have doubts and fears. And at our best, we are just awful filthy rags in Gods eyes. I said that to my dad and thought he was going to slap me and I'm in my 50's.
7/10/2012 8:23:32 PM
Faith United States
I experience the same social anxiety that you do. Going to church is the hardest thing I have to do during the week. I often don't make it because I procrastinate until it's too late. Then I make excuses for not being there. When I try to explain this to people, they don't understand especially because I am outgoing most of the time and appear very comfortable around people. I'm glad to see that someone understands this fear but at the same time sad that you experience it too. Can we keep each other in prayer?
7/10/2012 9:13:48 PM
Virginia United States
@Faith & Morgan,

I reading your comments and I felt like someone was reading my mail. I struggle with anxiety and feeling like an outsider when I attend church or any kind of social setting. Its a daily struggle to go to work and be outgoing and by the end of the day I'm exhausted. I just started attending a church that offers the Sunday and Wed. service online which I take advantage of but I know that I need to be around other believers. I will keep you both in my prayers.
7/10/2012 9:15:46 PM
Heather United States
"I have a question."
7/10/2012 9:53:02 PM
James United States
Sorry, it's hard to pin down just one thing to say. But I feel that there are plenty of things that the Church, being full of Christians with helpful intentions, USUALLY will not bluntly ignore certain issues or hate people (at least it has been the case with all the churches I have attended).  However, despite the fact that the Church is to be the Body and Bride of Christ, essentially being Christ in the world, there are still unfortunately things that the Church does not focus on which deserve as much attention as Christ gives.  Normally I would refrain from calling out certain observations of the Church, but looking at this comments page tells me that I am among good company.  

1. The Holy Spirit does not get as much of the Church's attention as it should, or when it does, it does not have the reputation the Spirit deserves.  Most people I have heard when they pray call on "Holy Father", "Lord God", and "Jesus Christ" - which by no means are NOT improper ways to address our God - but I have heard very few people actually call on the Holy Spirit's power.  I have found this to be because outside of Pentecostals and Charismatics, denominations tend to consider Spiritual power to either not exist anymore or to be taboo that only extremists draw to in order to get their kicks.  Now this is not what Jesus told us when He said He would empower us with the Spirit.  I do not need to argue my point because Jesus already laid it out: Christians are to be constantly in direct contact with the Holy Spirit.

2. Community is not taken as seriously as Jesus meant it to be when He established the Church as His people.  All Christians are family, brothers and sisters, in a more real way than blood itself.  Now, as a family should interact, should that be for one hour on one day of the week, and only in good health or spirit?  Forgive me for shouting, but CHURCH IS NOT JUST A CLUB THAT MEETS ON SUNDAYS!   The Church is a body, an undivided, holy people of God.  And yet we say we do not have enough time otherwise?  Jesus took the time to come down from Heaven to earth in order to save those He loves; it should not be too much of a stretch for us to spend meals with each other, take a walk together, or just plain hang out.  That's what Jesus spent a lot of His time doing anyways.  Get off the computer and into other people's lives.

3.  Other contributors have noted this, but sexual sin is not an area where the Church focuses enough towards driving Satan's traps away.  I confess to this as well.  Pornography is easier to become ensnared into than ever these days, with the internet practically in our pockets; where Google can bring up thousands of options to drag people, men especially, into infidelity and lust.  Lots of people feel as though they cannot talk to others, for fear of embarrassment or being looked down upon as lacking self-control.  But Jesus did not come to save perfect people, and the sooner we acknowledge that, the better we can be a light to the poor in spirit.  

4.  This is the overall point that I want to make: the Church needs a revival where everyone truly understands that there is nothing better for us to do than love the Lord God with all of our hearts, souls, and minds.  Ignore the cliche ring to those words and actually examine them.  That means loving God with every emotion, letting your heart intertwine with His whether you are having the best day of your life, or you are at the bottom of everything; that means having your first thoughts after waking directing towards Him, and acknowledging your everyday actions are in His presence; it means that whether you are a globally-known celebrity or alone in the middle of the ocean, you value God above everything else.  There is nothing that deserves more of our attention than God.

Yet I acknowledge that all of this is a bit large to swallow when truly taken to heart.  Thank God that though I am just a man, He is with me, and He makes the impossible possible.  
7/10/2012 10:21:46 PM
Bethany United States
I feel like i couldnt say that we should accept homosexuals as they are, and let god deal with their sin. They get condemned outside the church all the time, do they really need it inside the church too? i dont know a single homosexual person who is not aware that the church disapproves of the way they live. If we're always condemning them, theyre never gonna find out what true grace is, or who jesus is. I would want to tell my church to accept them and love them, instead of acting like theyre gonna go to hell, whether theyre saved or not. its like the church makes homosexuality its own separate category, like Jesus can forgive all sins, EXCEPT homosexuality. yep, your going to hell for that one. it makes me so mad, because i have friends who are homosexual and they completely hate god because of the churchs attitude towards them. But if I were to mention this in church, id just be directed to some bible verses that clearly state homosexuality is a sin and we need to let them know that we dont approve of their behavior. like thats gonna help them. i think we should let God do the judging, our job is just to love people. I bet jesus would be the one eating with homosexuals.
7/11/2012 12:15:29 AM
Kat United States
My divorce... I'm only 19 but I've already been married and am back home with my parents now. People just make a big deal out of it and I understand that its no small matter, but its hard and it would be nice for someone to just listen instead of telling me all I did wrong and how I could have fixed it.
7/11/2012 12:19:13 AM
Nichole United States
The church is the bride and body of Christ, and Christ shied away from NO topic, and I believe no topic should be ignored or avoided in church. The problem is, people take leadership in most churches, and when CHRIST isn't the head of the church, that is when there are 'taboo topics', or segregation, or even hate and division.

It tears my heart out to read someone's post like
"Broken", who feels they cannot share their brokenness with even their church family. I am also sad to hear unbelievers say they want nothing to do with us "hypocritical judgmental Christians". But when believers do not feel able or comfortable to come together and LOVE each other as He first loved us, that is tragic.
7/11/2012 12:29:02 AM
Nichole United States
@ KT,
There is or there isn't a God, KT. Only 2 choices. That's a 50/50 chance. I, personally, would rather try living my life with Christ as my Savior, trying to love people, than live without Christ. I also personally 'feel' there IS a God. The Holy Spirit lives IN me, and I feel and hear His love.
7/11/2012 12:52:50 AM
Trish United States
I could never say in church that I used to be addicted to drugs for 26 years (and also that if my Mother ever found out, it would break her heart).

But, on June 17th, 2007, God broke down my door and through Him I have been able to quit smoking cigarettes, quit drugs, go back to college, and get a degree in Nursing (at the age of 49)!  HALLELUJAH, PRAISE THE LORD!  HE IS MY REDEEMER!!!!
7/11/2012 5:28:57 AM
Vicki United States
I'm afraid I don't love God enough. Why don't I love him more?
7/11/2012 7:08:34 AM
Adam United States

You need to say something, Christ would speak up about it and you may be scoffed or mocked at, but what you endure for Christ will be rewarded, that is in the Bible. You need to be a hero, and not play it safe.
7/11/2012 7:16:03 AM
Adam United States
None of us love God as much as we should, our own selfishness and the sin all around us mucks our priorities up.
There isn't a line for loving God, or even a person, that is 'enough'. You are no different from any one else, except you can admit it.
7/11/2012 12:19:48 PM
Rosaline United States
I've been figuratively crucified on a couple of occasions for questioning leadership's demand for conformity to a particular image.  I don't mean changing who and how we are to be more like Jesus, but I'm talking about a physical image based on appearance created by the higher-ups in the church who seem to think they have a right to decide how we should all look, act, dress, and talk.  All these are things they focus their image on have to do with the flesh, and none of which have anything to do with the spirit or Scripture.  I've prayed about this a lot, and God answer to me was to not take a rebellious attitude about, however never change who He created me to be to conform to another person's image, and to to only conform to His.  That was not an acceptable answer to those who are pushing this image, so I feel like I can't say a word about the church's obsession with what people might think and their demand that we change who God created us to be because of their fear, or I'll be torn to shreds again.
7/11/2012 2:20:01 PM
Lily United States
That I'm not a former cutter. I AM a cutter, and I need help. Just because I'm the praise team leader doesn't mean I don't still struggle with my addiction.
7/11/2012 3:05:36 PM
Janet United States
That I believe Catholics are entering through the wide road and Bible believing Christians through the narrow
7/11/2012 3:15:16 PM
Stefani United States
I feel I cannot tell my sin-filled/addiction/feelings about it Story to random church memebers that I do not know well.  Let alone to the entire church or even sunday school class.  My story has broken my trust in people's ability to NOT judge. Period.

I still struggle with it now, and I don't attend church because I feel like it does not do me any good. I have tried various churches but I always feel like an outcast.

The fallout of my inability to come clean in church or with church memebers, etc. is that I am still broken and haven't gotten over all of the darkness that's left over.  The sad thing about it is I try to "Let it GO" give it up to God, but it still holds on like superglue.  And it's been 6 years, one would think time would heal it. No such joy.
7/11/2012 3:16:29 PM
Stefani United States
OOPS...it should be I feel I cannot tell my sin-filled/addiction/feelings about MY Story to random church memebers that I do not know well.
7/11/2012 3:24:07 PM
these pretzels are making me thirsty United States
these pretzels are making me thirsty
"Hey... you read the latest Rob Bell book?"

"We're hittin' Hooters for some wings after church... Wanna join us?"

"Don't forget to buy lotto this week!"

"Man, I can't wait for next weeks episode of True Blood."
7/11/2012 3:40:58 PM
Teresa United States
Here's where the truth hits home. . . Are you afraid you can't say these things because of fear of repentance or fear your sin will not be accepted. See I feel I can't say this in church, "stop living by your standards and repent and live up to God's standards," Because if I do then I offend those that think I should "accept" that they are gay, living together out of marriage, addicted to drugs or pornography. Too many times people want to say these things wanting the church to accept them and not be told to repent of it and stop doing it, but if the church accepts these lifestyles just because you have chosen to, then we as a congregation have failed to live by what Christ have placed before us. That is, not to "judge" others, but to show them "accountability. "
When Christ spoke to the woman at the well and told her that he knew she was living with a man that she was not married to, he wasn't "accepting" her sin. Yes, he loved her, but he was convicting her to repent of that lifestyle and live by God's standard and not hers.
Christ crawled up on that cross so that you could live by his Heavenly Father's standards and not ours. His blood was poured out for more than us standing on our own pride and thinking we can change what God expects of us.
So therefore, if you want to repent of your sin that you are dealing with then I imagine any church will pray and help you get out of it and walk in the glory of God, but if you just want to continue in that lifestyle and not truly repent from it, then don't get upset with anyone who speaks the word of God and not what society tells you is not love because "Christians judge and don't accept."
7/11/2012 3:50:59 PM
Meg United States
I'm not okay.
7/11/2012 4:02:29 PM
Jo Ana United States
Jo Ana
Domestic Violence is one thing that i feel lime i cant speak about. Im in an abusive marrige, and my husband plays a key role in the church. it just makes me feel lonely knowing that if i did speak about it, everyone would know. No one else talks about it either.. making it seem like everyone just avoids the domestic violence topic altogether.
7/11/2012 4:05:07 PM
Logan United States
Theology. I have many thought provoking questions in regards to the military as well as eschatology and numerous other subjects, and if I were to raise these questions, the conflict and division that would occur, because of a large majority of members with differing beliefs than mine, would not be worth it. Church should be a place where we can seriously wrestle with such beliefs and leave still loving one another.
7/11/2012 4:10:04 PM
Angie United States
This is for Church:
1- i can't feel God's presence
2- my best friend is suicidal

This is for the world in general:
3- i can't tell anyone about my depression when i'm comforting them about theirs.
7/11/2012 9:05:38 PM
pan head rich United States
pan head rich
I'm really afraid to say to my church family that I believe in the separation of church and state.  I'm also really afraid to mention to some that I have my medical marijuana card for insomnia.  I also don't have a problem with gay marriage.  
7/12/2012 1:00:50 AM
Jerred United States
I cant talk about what happened with my nephew at church. He lived with me for a while, was well liked at our church, a member of our youth group... He ,...at 14 molested my 4 year old, I had no choice but to protect my children. I had to notify cps. Because he wasnt my biological child , the state deemed him unsafe to live in the same household as my three children. He was remanded to a state group home permanently. I love him like a son of my own, it was one of the hardest things ive ever had to do. Now I  feel shunned by the church, like im a bad person, like I gave up on him, the state threatened to take all my kids if he stayed........I had no other choice.... None will understand
7/12/2012 1:08:26 AM
Jerred United States
I think wearing the most expensive outfit to church is a waste......JESUS will love us no matter if we
wore  lamb skin tunacs.
7/12/2012 2:49:00 AM
Charrisa Singapore
What the church did wrong and how it can be improved. Sad truth.
7/12/2012 8:22:50 AM
Tiff United States
In general, I don't think that there is anything that should not be said in church (outside of foul language and general disrespectful behavior)....but at my particular church, lately I've felt like I am not able to disagree with or critique the authority.  If I see things that I don't think are right, or could be done better, I don't feel I can always speak up to someone on the pastoral staff.

BTW - Thank you for being such an honest Christian...I love that you're not afraid of the hard questions...it gives us hope and lets people know that we're not alone in our questions and doubts.  God bless Smile
7/12/2012 8:23:45 AM
Tiff United States
(I meant to thank Brant specifically, lol)
7/12/2012 9:47:33 AM
Bethany United States
@Vicki I feel exactly the same way about not loving god enough! I'm glad I'm not the only one, because it seems like everyone else has this super deep relationship with him, and I don't.. I hope your encouraged that your not the only one, I struggle with it too and was encouraged when I read your comment! It's weird, because I know what Jesus did and all, but I just don't feel this huge love for Him..idk, but I'll be praying for you!(:
7/12/2012 9:54:32 AM
Bethany United States
@adam easier said than done, but I've told my dad before, and he had done a sermon on how we need to stand against the homosexual ways and stuff (he's not a pastor, it was just a special message thing) and he got really mad at me for "sticking up for the sinners" and that I can't support them. The thing is, I don't support their ways, but I do want to offer support to them, just loving them and stuff. But yeah, I see what your saying about not just sitting on the sidelines and not doing anything about it. I'll try and say something when I can
7/12/2012 4:31:33 PM
Alex United States
I think the one thing people are afraid to talk about is self injury and recovery for it. I am recovering self harmer. I have so far been 1 month and 5 days self harm free. Smile. I feel GREAT. I think in order for people to recover, they have to know in their heart that someone cares about them. For anyone going through this, JESUS loves you just as you are.
7/12/2012 5:07:50 PM
Brett T. United States
Brett T.
I'd like to say to the church as a whole, "Really? Is that all you got?" I am thouroughly disgusted..... I cannot bring myself to condemn those that are trying to better themselves. But, to those in a position, a paid position of authority, you need to step it up and pull up your sleeves. You leaders need to start using the resources that are in front of you. Stop whinning about the money and start making desciples, start training children to work and work for the church. The vast majority of churches has at least 100 members that tithe. Woohoo! Now that we have all this money, we need planners, builders, cooks, cleaners, doctors, even coroners. The church used to be the center of town. "What happened that we all opened our wallets and closed our hearts?" Did we give up on trying to make a difference and just pay for someone else to do it? Like we pay mcdonalds for a 5 second hamburger? Like we pay for a 5 minute carwash? Like we pay for a loan for 5-15 years? Like we all shop at the walmart because it saves money then we give what we save to our church when churches need the grass cut, the windows and walls washed, the maintenance. That stuff should be 100% free and done in every church as a tithe from people that know they have good faith. I am not talking about first or second, but the last church in town, the one that will save those the rest of us can't because we just don't want too, because we are lazy. Leaders, please stop teaching and start delegating teachers to do that. Teachers, stop baby sitting; teach the young adults to do that so they understand what it means to raise kids. Kids, just listen and put down your phones. Elders, you are not cold and dead yet, and if you have survived cancer a little greeting, cleaning, and singing isn't going to kill you. I mean it, you get your butt up there and volunteer, you know that ignoring your heart will just make you die faster. What would happen if every church had a non provisioned water well to water their grass with? What if the local government used churches as libraries to save building costs? What if retirement homes took in homeless people during the winter? What if? What if we all spent 2 hours helping the church after the service? The sabbath has not been meant to go eat lunch and take a nap! But those who wish can do that, yet when you work, people bless you for it. Ok, back to work. Hope that made your week. It just started mine.
7/13/2012 6:24:09 AM
Just thinking... United States
Just thinking...
I read through some of the comments and I have a thought...I think we have to make sure that we are not looking for a church that will tell us it's ok to sin. We all sin. However, I think sometimes the reason we don't feel we can say that one secret thing is because it IS a sin and we know it's a sin and we know it's wrong. If you are confessing the deepest part of what you feel you can't say in order to repent and turn away from that sin, most churches aren't going to turn from you because of what you've done. I think one could find time and again how they were loved through the most unforgiveable act. However, if you are wanting to continue to live in that sin and be told that it's ok that you continue to do it....then that is when you aren't maybe going to find the acceptance you hope to find.

Sometimes we don't share because we are afraid we'll be judged, without giving the people we want to share it with the opportunity to show that they really do care. When it's something we hold so close to us, and it's so personal to US, it's hard to share because of fear others won't care like we do...

Just a thought.
7/13/2012 9:29:31 AM
Jason United States
What is one thing I feel I can't say in church?

What if?

Two simple words. What if...

The more I learn, the more I realize I know less and less. I learn that I have more to learn than what I've learn. And at times, I forget what I've learned.

I've been a Christian for 25 years, I believe there are very essential basic tenants of our faith and I adhere to those put forth by the early church, such as the Nicene Creed. But every time I crack open my Bible, or take a class or go to church, I learn something new.  This requires an objectivity and openness to realize that what I thought was correct last week, may not have been correct. And that's ok. right? It's a total vulnerably to acknowledge that I may not understand or fully comprehend. I was wrong.

I Feel I can't be vulnerable in church to express any thought that may be contrary to the denominations tenants. Can I? Or challenging the safety and security of our cultural Christianity. If I say "What if we have this all wrong?" Am I considered a heretic? or a wolf in sheeps clothing? a Dissident? God forbid I think for my self and have a Spirit lead thought of my own origination.

We the church defend our weaknesses, our errors, as if we were defending our inheritance. We can't be wrong. We can't have vulnerability. We can't disagree with each other in love. It turns into I'm right and your wrong. Black and white. Bitter divides.

What if...

... I disagree?
... you are wrong?
... all I wrote is based on my own fear and perception?

It's going to be alright in the end, right?
7/14/2012 10:06:26 AM
Damascus Man United States
Damascus Man
@ Alex - Celebrating your "harm free" stint and your realization that you feel great!.  Sharing your success is important to those who suffer in silence and long to achieve what you have...  Don't be afraid and stay in the fight.  We all have afflictions that we deal with on a daily basis, understanding this, acknowledging this is the only road to recovery.  Face it head on with your armor in place and Christs hand in yours.

Fear of asking for help in church... Does anyone else see Jesus weeping???
7/14/2012 5:09:09 PM
Beyond this moment... United States
Beyond this moment...
@Jo Ana: I'm so sorry you're facing violence in your home. I've been there and I am still struggling to understand how a Christian man - a Christian leader  - could fail so horribly at loving his wife the way Christ loves the Church... and why some people in the christian community can't or won't acknowledge that it's a problem.
7/14/2012 8:17:49 PM
jacob United States
why do you presser people to worship and why do you judge worship by what you see? i love God i want to worship freely in church not presssered to worship God or judge by anyone
7/15/2012 10:48:17 PM
Jethro United States
I have to saythat aside from just being rude or spiteful, I can and do say whatever is on my mind. I usually try to use tact. But I have no problem asking pastor "can you show that to me in the Word of God? I don't get that from God's Word..."
7/16/2012 8:24:09 AM
Jane United States
That I'm a self injurer
7/16/2012 10:54:21 AM
ElizaBeth United States
I have to say after reading a lot of these comments I am saddened that people are feeling unloved/unwanted/judged/alone etc. in their own churches. Church is like a hospital, it's where the sick so to speak go to get well...we are ALL sinners and no man should judge...only God truly has that job. I am so thankful for my church, where I can truly be me. I have tattoos, a gay son and I am a recovering alcoholic...I also am a christian married to a Muslim man but I am accepted just for who I am. We have a come as you are policy and that's just how it is. I pray that those of you struggling to have a church where you can feel this find what you are looking for. May God Bless you all! <3
7/16/2012 2:00:36 PM
Laura United States
I once asked how dinosaurs fit into creation and was looked at like I had two heads and I never got an answer. It made me mad that we couldn't even have a discussion about it.
@Jarred-- you TOTALLY did the right thing. I understand and stand by you and your decision. Even if he was your biological son you must stand up for those being hurt.
7/16/2012 3:33:24 PM
Cierra United States
I feel like my church is pretty much open to anything.  I also feel embarrassed that I've been a Christian for about 16 years now and I have never been baptized.  I am afraid to admit it because I should have done it years ago.  It's just that at my old church, they didn't really explain that part to me.  When I finally figured out what baptism was really all about I felt like I was too old and I'd missed my chance.  Now I can feel God telling me it's a step that I need to take but I'm kinda scared.
7/16/2012 5:34:35 PM
ElizaBeth United States
@ Cierra.... Don't feel embarrassed or like you are too old to be baptised. I was just baptised yesterday and I have had a christian background my whole life and I'm almost 40. There were many people yesterday that were older than myself. It's what's in your heart that God looks at, if you are feeling God telling you to take this step then it's time...don't let anything get in the way of your relationship with God. =)
7/17/2012 8:00:31 AM
Paula United States
"I don't like the way the elders are choosing to spend God's money, therefore I have stopped giving."
7/17/2012 5:28:11 PM
flyawaynet United States
"But what does that have to do with Jesus?"
7/18/2012 11:15:55 AM
Michelle United States
Parts of my past, like being a former prostitute, or my being bipolar....
7/18/2012 1:15:13 PM
Susan United States
I would never again share that I was a victim of acquaintance rape. When I was in a close-knit small group, I made this mistake. To my surprise, the focus became what I did wrong to cause that man to rape me. Because of all of the victim blaming I experienced  from other Christians, I began to think it was my fault what that man did to me. I never reported it.
7/18/2012 1:24:34 PM
Carolyn United States
I could not share that I was awaiting the results of a pregnancy test from a one-night-stand with a guy I met at a Christian dance. If fornication weren’t a sin, I would be hooking up with guys all the time. I've been objectified by so many "Christian" men, that it's easier for me to have physical intimacy without any emotional connection. It's as if I was bitten by vampires, and now I am one, too.
7/18/2012 1:28:48 PM
Carolyn United States
How about stuff like, "I am an incest survivor." Or, "I struggle with same-sex attraction."
7/19/2012 7:09:07 AM
Gary United States
I don't believe that God calls anyone to be a preacher.  I believe its a total ego trip.  I do believe that God calls individuals to be mentors and pastors and friends.  That is what "church" should be about.  I would never say this in church ... the preacher's ego would take it as a threat and I would be instantly marginalized.  
7/19/2012 1:04:27 PM
Cheese Doodle Bandit United States
Cheese Doodle Bandit
That's awesome, Trish!  My pastor was a former drug addict.  Now he's an on-fire servant of God.
7/19/2012 1:11:34 PM
Cheese Doodle Bandit United States
Cheese Doodle Bandit
Would you please explain your comment further, Gary?
7/19/2012 1:11:45 PM
Cheese Doodle Bandit United States
Cheese Doodle Bandit
Praying for you, Jo Ana.
7/20/2012 4:22:16 PM
Jessica United States
"Are you really always that happy?!! it's annoying" some people just get on my nerves they are so happy!! lol
7/20/2012 6:54:29 PM
David United States
My heart breaks for all of the hurt we keep in side.Also it's not our love for God,that's the old covenant,it's His love (Jesus) for us. When churches don't rightly divide the word we get confusion by mixture (babylon). Our behavior never determines our faith, just our belief in Jesus! Oh and will I get in "trouble" 4 not capitalizing god, jesus,etc..?
7/25/2012 8:28:51 AM
Cynthia Ham United States
Cynthia Ham
After 20-25 years of sitting in church, that I was lonely and felt ignored by my fellow Christians.  It's why I stopped going to church and haven't gone to services since.  In the years after I stopped attending I have struggled with my faith, but have come to the conclusion that I need God more than ever as I know that he doesn't ignore me and loves me unconditionally if I come before him honestly.  We Christians are blessed that we have a God who cares for us on a personal level.
2/15/2013 2:53:31 PM
Kate Canada
@ Jo Ana.  Please get help.  Jesus doesn't condone abuse
3/13/2013 5:20:51 PM
Julia United States
I stopped going to church about a year ago and my faith as grown stronger. I'm only a teenager, but I could see through the masks the people were wearing. Granted, some of them are true followers of Jesus and loved Him, but most played Sunday Christian and were so hypocritical. As soon as I got pink streaks in my hair, I didn't feel welcomed anymore. All the youth were preppy snobs and made fun of me. But I actually have the guts to reach out to the social outcasts in my high school and share Jesus with them.
I pray for the church. I pray that the fakers actually find Jesus. I pray that His love changes them. I pray that I can find a church I actually have no problem with attending.
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