Dec 11 2011
If Jesus Had a Blog: The Good News is Getting Out!

(From Brant... an explainer, for those new to the series:  The "comments" directly below are NOT real.  They're just my best guesses, if Jesus had a blog, what the comments would look like.) 

 

If Jesus Had a Blog

 

What up.  

Man, it's a busy time of year. It's time to celebrate my birth, I guess, so everyone's doing what you'd expect in response - the only logical option:  Guzzling egg nog and singing about Frosty the Snowman. 

I have noticed there are people passing, children laughing, and I'm greeting smile after smile. So that's nice.

(It's all awesome, but you know what really frosts me?  When the people at the Jerusalem Costco say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas".  MAN, that sets me off.  I hope my followers, thousands of years from now, make a huge, huge deal out of that, in keeping with my teachings regarding Christmas and stuff.  Okay, so I'm being sarcastic.  This isn't the first time, folks.)

###

Anyways, it's all good, and here's my real point:  I'm pretty stoked, because I sent more followers out today to tell the good news!  And here's the news:  The Kingdom of God is near!

Some are catching on that I'm the Messiah, because they see the evidence:  Blind people getting their sight back!  Deaf people getting their hearing!  Lepers now clean!  And the good news is getting out to poor people!

POSTED  TODAY  2:34 P.M.

------------------------

 

COMMENTS

 

I'm sorry, Jesus, but last time I checked, that wasn't the "Good News".  You don't tell the whole story. 

The Good News is that I got my ticket to Gloryland!

-- sharon777

So...when Jesus shares the Good News with the poor, he's supposed to say, "Hey, everybody, Sharon777 got her ticket to Gloryland!" ??

I mean, we know you're important, Sharon, but...

-- julsmith20

I'm with sharon777.  The Good News is that Jesus died for us, and we can accept him and go to heaven.  It bothers me that this blog entry doesn't reflect that.  I'm not even sure what all the "kingdom" talk is about, but it's not the Gospel. 

-- prayerwarrior4god

Sarcasm isn't very Christian, Jesus.

-- nicole_1985

Excuse me, but my church has BIBLE studies, BIBLE preaching, BIBLE class, Vacation BIBLE School...and I have no idea what you're talking about.  So something is really wrong, and I'm just going to presume it's you.

-- liz2

So, I know this wasn't your main point, but you act like it's no big deal that stores won't say, "Merry Christmas."  I think it's time we took a stand, before it's too late to win our country back.

Didn't you tell us to "take a stand" to win our country back?

-- momof4

Right on, "momof4".  I was at Walgreen's this week, buying one of those massive inflatable lawn ornaments, and the lady behind the counter was all like, "Have a great holiday" and man, that burned me up. 

I think it totally takes the focus off of you, Baby Jesus.

-- cindysue12

I don't like the implicit message in this blog entry, here, J.  If God's "kingdom" is "good news", it means we're supposed to want him in charge of everything, like some kind of king.  Not only is this sexist/monarchist, it implies I'm merely his "subject" and I'm supposed to advance his agenda.  How's that "Good News"?

The implications for this are huge.  I like calling my own shots.   I don't serve a demanding "god" who threatens this kind of stuff.  I'm done with this website.

Does Baby Jesus have a blog?

-- goblue32

I think you guys are missing something important here.  He says in his last line that the "good news" is getting to the poor, and that's evidence he is God's chosen one. 

THAT, to me, is the offensive thing.  It shouldn't make a difference whether someone is poor or not.  Our church targets rich people in the Dallas suburbs, because -- guess what -- we're rich people in the Dallas suburbs.  We spend $14 million a year to reach ourselves, and there's nothing wrong with this at all, because God loves us, too.

Yes, poor people matter, but no more than anyone else, and it's not like God has some kind of special relationship with them.

-- howboutthemboys96

Actually, I think Jesus is saying he does have some kind of special relationship with them. 

-- annie21

Well, the God *I* worship doesn't look at people differently just because one has money and power and the other doesn't.

-- howboutthemboys96

I'm sure that's true.

-- annie21

You're a pinko lefty.

-- howboutthemboys96

You're probably so dim-witted you voted for McCain/Palin.

-- annie21

Hey, I like Sarah Palin.  She's a Christian, like Tim Tebow.  And he's super-nice, I think.

-- trish

Sarah Palin said she could see Russia from her house.  Embarrassing.  I don't vote for backward Wal-Mart shoppers.  Sorry.

-- bob239

Hey "bob239", Palin didn't say that, Tina Fey did.  Doof.

BTW, Wal-Mart employs a lot of people, and does this country a lot of good, which is more than I can say for Barack HUSSEIN Obama.

-- dwj

I agree with dwj.  We spend way too much time criticizing Wal-Mart, when we should be trying to find Barack's ACTUAL and REAL birth certificate.  Whoever voted for him is stupid.

-- mike_m

Actually...your stupid.

-- carrieanddave2002

Actually...YOU'RE stupid, because you "actually" don't know how to use apostrophes.

-- mike_m

ddear jesus

i hope you are king here soon like you r in heaven

-- horsegurl9

Comments (29) -

12/11/2011 2:36:53 PM
Ken Hagerman(The Barba) Paraguay
Ken Hagerman(The Barba)
Thanks Brant for bringing this back. I look forward to new installments. As always the post is great but the "comments" are the best.

Does Baby Jesus have a blog? haha
12/11/2011 9:15:34 PM
Gunnar United States
Gunnar
The comments Laughing









12/12/2011 10:38:09 AM
lovepeople United States
lovepeople
Thanks for the funny blog Brant, I loved it. The kingdom is good news indeed.
12/12/2011 11:03:28 AM
MattieC United States
MattieC
"Sarcasm isn't very Christian, Jesus." - posted by  nicole_1985

I think that's funny considering Jesus called Peter "The Rock" knowing well that Peter would deny Jesus 3 times (not much of a "rock"). I think Jesus had a bit of sarcasm in his voice when He gave Paul that name. Honestly, I think a lot can be taught through sarcasm, and I do believe Jesus spoke alittle sarcastically at points. Mark Driscoll has a couple really good video sermons on this subject. YouTube Mark's videos. I forget the title of it, but it will have to do with humor in the bible. It's good stuff.
12/12/2011 11:05:29 AM
MattieC United States
MattieC
I meant when He gave PETER that name...not Paul. My bad.
12/12/2011 11:10:48 AM
ottodx United States
ottodx
Thanks for not putting my Lord in a box.  You are one amazing guy.  For the first time in many years I feel like there is someone else who gets God the same way I do.

Blessings on your day
12/12/2011 12:36:27 PM
Alfredo Sauce United States
Alfredo Sauce
Excuse me, but my church has BIBLE studies, BIBLE preaching, BIBLE class, Vacation BIBLE School...and I have no idea what you're talking about.  So something is really wrong, and I'm just going to presume it's you.

-- liz2


Man I actually know some people who would say something like this to Jesus. lol.  I think a lot of us know these kind of people :0 lol
12/12/2011 12:41:12 PM
trish United States
trish
The comments are classic. Laughing But it does show how far from Jesus we get in our ideals and lives. I couldnt help reading them and thinking, 'I do that!'

I like that you used my name btw. How awesome is that! And I'm not all that fond of Sarah Palin. :/
12/12/2011 12:50:08 PM
GodGirl4Ever United States
GodGirl4Ever
I think that this is a good entry Brant!
I also think that you guys maybe need to re-read it a few times and think. "Well, in the Bible, Jesus did heal the blind, the deaf and MORE!".
Maybe Brant didn't realize that people wouldn't get it, or maybe he just didn't think do add more.
Maybe Jesus didn't use sarcasm, or maybe he did...I'm sure it was also a joke, to be funny!
I can't wait to read more blog entries from you Brant! Smile
12/12/2011 12:54:49 PM
Kersley Fitz United States
Kersley Fitz
As someone who works for a Christian ministry that deals primarily in emails and comments, I can affirm that this is dead on!
12/12/2011 1:04:59 PM
Debbie S United States
Debbie S
Thanks for this, Brant! A different persepective and I like it Smile Reading through all the comments, though, it makes me wonder what someone who might be new to salvation, or, who might be unsaved, might think of some of these posts. What sort of witness are we being? I praise God He loved me enough to send his Son to save someone like me, and I praise Him for giving me grace. I think the good news is a combination of Jesus' birth, His sacrifice to save us from our sins, and the glory of the new kingdom to come! Brant, keep up the hard work! There are some out here who really appreciate it, and I guess, 'get' your humor Smile
12/12/2011 1:12:45 PM
Supes United States
Supes
I like Jesus's blog. Keep it going Brant.
12/12/2011 2:00:41 PM
flowrgoddes United States
flowrgoddes
this is the definition of awesomeness! <3
12/12/2011 2:07:09 PM
Josh United States
Josh
Why do we care if Walmart or any other retailer says Merry Christmas? Newsflash: they will say anything if it means they will get your money (apparently Christians spend enough money to warrant them saying Merry Christmas). If the church was concerned in spreading God's Love, we wouldn't have to have this discussion. What did Jesus say? "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength" and "to love your neighbor as yourself." We are ambassadors to Christ, we should represent Him in every aspect. Forget what Walmart says. I don't need Walmart justifying my faith. I'd rather they not. Giving and exchanging gifts is not a bad thing. But when billions are spent on things at Christmas while Millions starve, something is seriously wrong. Yes, God came for everyone, but He wants us to help those who need help. Christ told the rich young ruler to "go and give everything he had to the poor and follow Him." How many could say they could really do that? Could YOU give up everything? Name calling gets us nowhere. Christ died for everyone.  We don't always agree on everything, but we should still respect and LOVE each other as He COMMANDED. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of you!
12/12/2011 3:15:05 PM
john United States
john
i agree with josh merry Christmas happy holidays  
12/12/2011 3:53:08 PM
Andrea United States
Andrea
"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27. Preach it, "Jesus"!
12/12/2011 7:37:10 PM
Matt E. United States
Matt E.
Ha. "goblue32". The Wolverines are beloved around the Big Ten for their humility...or not.

Nice post!
12/13/2011 10:18:17 AM
Priscilla United States
Priscilla
Matt 11:15 ""The blind see and the lame walk; the lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear; the dead are raised up and the poor have the gospel preached to them."

Jesus spoke of the gospel of the kingdom. It is what He preached. The gospel is the kingdom. He specifically wanted the "poor" to receive it. "Poor" as in those who are lacking anything.

Jesus offended many, especially those who should have recognized Him. It's funny how this paraphrase of Matt 11:15 has caused offense in people hearts. It's also apropos that the very next sentence out of Jesus' mouth was Matt 11:16:

"And blessed is he who is not offended because of Me."
12/13/2011 6:23:05 PM
Charlie Japan
Charlie
Believe it or not, Sarcasm isn't a universally accepted form of humor.  Here in Japan, its usually considered sadistic to use it except for the most obvious of cases usually directed to oneself (ie."I'm cold", when its really hot outside).  
Just remember that Jesus didn't speak English, he came from a country in the middle east, and He was God in the flesh.  Its probable and possible that we can't presume to know the motives for why he said things the way He did.
12/14/2011 12:28:15 PM
Justiceandmercy94 United States
Justiceandmercy94
its really crazy how Christians can't even get along with each other now a days. We all try to dissect each other's words and twist them like satan does....how are we showing nonbelievers who read this blog Jesus? who would want to be a follower of Christ after reading something like this where believers critique each other? Whatever your view of this blog is, if it is to the glory of God, we should rejoice (Philippians 1:18 But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.).
12/14/2011 2:10:11 PM
Chris United States
Chris
I think He'd Wonder Why More Christian Artists Think Alaskan's Don't Want To Goto Their Concerts. I'd Go, If A Plane Ticket Out Of The State Capital Didn't Cost Me $550 a Family Member. Always Wanted To Hear Skillet.. There's Alot Of David Crowder Band Fans Here... In The Summer We Get over 12 Thousand People A Day Sometimes In Cruise Ship Traffic, With Our Convention Center (Centenial Hall) A Block Away From Cruise Ports.

He'd Say, Music Isn't Always About Money, And What Works On The "Tours". And Alot Of Non Saved People Would Be Blessed By The Experience Other Than Going To "Lil Jon" and Metalica Bands Here at The Bars On Saturday Nights!

He'd Say Skillet, Third Day, Lacrae, And All the Other People Can Stay At The Guy Posting This Comment's Condo Smile I know It's Only 800 Square Feet, And He's Got 1 Puppy, 2 Cats, A Wife, 3 Kids, and 2 Bed Rooms. But It's Humble Living! Smile
   (Maybe Even Buy It?!?)

Just.. Sayin....
12/16/2011 5:32:05 AM
Laney United States
Laney
To all of you arguing over "Jesus' blog"...First of all, you should all be ashamed of yourselves for acting like children. You sound like a bunch of kids screaming "I know you are but what am I"! Grow up! Way to set an example for what Christians should act like. And second of all, when he says "poor people", I believe he means emotionally or spiritually poor, not financially poor. Just my personal opinion...
12/16/2011 10:37:56 AM
Walter United States
Walter
I definitely agree. We actually played more music about God at our band concert. It was great to hear, some were upset though..
12/16/2011 2:51:51 PM
Denise United States
Denise
The (real-life) comments took a turn toward irony somewhere. Almost like Brant's satire escaped from the blog. Brant, you're not supposed to break through the fourth wall.
12/16/2011 8:32:00 PM
Ki United States
Ki
i love how everyone gets so off topic... He must've seen the Anthem LIghts post and we were all talking about Skillet lol Smile
12/20/2011 2:07:43 PM
Tim S United States
Tim S
Thanks Brant love your heart I can see Jesus heart showing through you.
Really surprised by all of the comments caused by such a paraphrase.
Tim
12/23/2011 10:16:00 AM
Kathleen Frangeskos United States
Kathleen Frangeskos
Hi, I think your blog is creative and cute!  
Jesus is the best!  And HE is your friend too!
If you wish, please stop by my blog anytime for some inspiration and love at
http://jesusknowsyoubest.blogspot.com
Jesus will do anything for you...just ask!
Merry Christmas!
Sincerely,
Kathleen Frangeskos
2/4/2012 7:54:27 PM
Lewis United States
Lewis
It's very interesting reading some of the posts!  Very lively group!  Let's remember, we are all on the same team! Lewis...check this out please www.lightenload.wordpress.com
10/21/2012 5:55:46 PM
Faith United States
Faith
"It's Called Christmas with a Capital C." Go Fish.
Comments are closed