Aug 15 2011
"Jesus-Juking": Some Tips

"Jesus juking", the term, is relatively new (hat tip to Jon Acuff!)  But the activity has been around for a long time  And, by golly, I'm good at it.

Not only have I participated in it, I've been employed in Christian radio, which means I've heard Jesus-juking at its highest levels, in hundreds of different contexts. It's all about adding a comment that will make everyone feel silly, and just plain unspiritual, for having the audacity to go about their daily lives.   Like I say, I've done this, too. 

So here are some tips:

 

1)  Remember that silliness cannot be tolerated.  And everything, compared to your mature spirituality, is silliness.

Him:  I really like this comedian!  His routine about getting frustrated with his broken washing machine is so true and hilarious!

You:  (sigh) I just don't see how getting angry at a machine glorifies the Lord.

 

2) "Spiritualize" EVERYTHING... and then contextualize your subtle rebuke by "tying in" to what they're talking about

Her:  I like baseball.

You:  You know, Jesus tells us we'll never truly be "safe" at "home" if we put energy into worldly things.

 

3) Make EVERYTHING about the "end days".

Him:  Huh.  Says here in the paper that "Rockstar" is now outselling "Powerade", and --

You:  We are told in scripture that "men will thirst".  Just another example that we are at the Very End of Time.

 

4) Don't let anyone get away with a hobby.

Her:  They've got this really cool model train setup in their garage, with little trees and --

You:  Wow. Wish they'd put that kind of effort into the Kingdom.

 

5) Compare sports crowds, always, to church crowds.

Him:  Wow! Touchdown! That was clutch!  Woohoo!

You:  If only people would get this excited about the Lord on Sunday mornings.

 

6) Music is easy pickings. You can juke forever.

Him:  I like this song!

You:  It's not Christian.

------

Him:  I like this CHRISTIAN song!

You:  Why don't they say the word, "Jesus"?

------

Him:  I like this CHRISTIAN song about JESUS!

You:  Whatever happened to songs that were just scripture?

-----

Him:  I like this CHRISTIAN song about JESUS that's straight from SCRIPTURE!

You:  So sad that we have to use a "club beat" that reminds people of the things of the world.

-----

Him:  I like this CHRISTIAN song about JESUS that's straight from SCRIPTURE and is A CAPPELLA.

You:  I prefer prayerful silence.

 

7)  Reading the Bible is awesome.  But not awesome enough.

Her:  You know, I'm reading the Bible more these days!  I'm really enjoying it.

You:  Hm. That's interesting. But you can't rely on your own, very human, flawed interpretation.  Instead, you should really read a John MacArthur Study Bible.

 

8)  Do NOT allow people to confess their weaknesses.   Pounce.  And then use "brother", or "sister".

Her:  I really struggle with prayer, and --

You:  I'll remember to pray for you, that you'll finally put your faith in God, sister.

 

9)  Relate all appreciation of nature to religious arguments.

Him:  Man, what a beautiful tree!  It's amazing, and --

You:  Amazing, isn't it, that people worship trees instead of the Creator?

 

10) Christmas is a GOLDEN opportunity to juke.

Him:  I got some neat Christmas cards with a star on them, and --

You:  It's too bad how they try to replace Jesus with a generic "star" pattern.

-----

Him:  I got some neat Christmas cards with baby Jesus on them, and --

You:  It's too bad society's so approving of BABY Jesus, but not the grown-up one who called down judgment.

-----

Him:  I got some neat Christmas cards with an adult Jesus on them, calling down judgment, and --

You:  It's too bad card-makers are trying to make money off selling pictures of Jesus.

 

10b) Combining Christmas with music?  PERFECT.

Him:  I love Bing Crosby's "White Christmas"

You:  It's a secular song.

-----

Him:  I love Bing Crosby's "Hark the Herald"

You:  It's too bad Bing Crosby wasn't a Christian.

-----

Him:  I love Kirk Franklin's "Hark the Herald"

You:  It's too bad the original melody is borrowed from a beer hall song.

-----

Him:  How about I just love Kirk Cameron?

You:  Okay!

Comments (33) -

8/15/2011 12:41:01 PM
Sterling United States
Sterling
tee hee- that made me laugh- A LOT! Smile
I'll be praying for you, Brant! No, really, I will.
8/15/2011 3:23:58 PM
Jessika Canada
Jessika
Are you the Sterling who's on the air? Or a different one?
8/15/2011 4:43:58 PM
Cat United States
Cat
Ahem.  Hark the Herald Angels Sing was not a beer hall song (that would be the Star Spangled Banner).  Hark the Herald's original words were in praise of Johann Guttenberg.
8/15/2011 5:19:31 PM
Fee United States
Fee
The ending was priceless! The one about music reminds me so much of my Dad, and sadly he isn't even Christian.
8/15/2011 5:34:16 PM
Brant Hansen United States
Brant Hansen
Cat: You RULE.  I love the history.

Of course, Jesus-jukers need not be historically accurate in their rebukes, but I still learned something.
8/15/2011 5:44:00 PM
Matt United States
Matt
It's a shame the author didn't spend his time praying instead of being silly! Ha Ha, that was great!
8/15/2011 7:39:23 PM
Cait United States
Cait
Its too bad we're spending time reading this instead of in prayer...
8/15/2011 8:11:16 PM
brant United States
brant
Yes, many props to the fine writer Jon Acuff, who, I'm now aware, coined the phrase.  And a fine phrase it is.  His outstanding blog is at www.stuffchristianslike.com.
8/16/2011 8:20:58 AM
Issa Brown United States
Issa Brown
hallelujah, ahem, yes, amen, etc etc. lol I thoroughly enjoyed this!
8/17/2011 3:27:29 AM
robyn United States
robyn
I loved this post and now I *finally* know what "Jesus-Juking" is. Smile
8/17/2011 2:38:48 PM
Sabrina United States
Sabrina
Bahahahaha. Thanks for existing! Laughing
8/17/2011 2:53:39 PM
Elizabeth United States
Elizabeth
This completely cracks me up for all the wrong reasons. My mom is infamous for doing this, but she doesn't even realize it. Like the other day she told me not to worry about where my kids would go to school because it's the end days. LOL!!
8/17/2011 6:43:11 PM
Sara Beth United States
Sara Beth
HILARIOUS!!!!!!!
8/18/2011 8:36:40 AM
leneita Fix United States
leneita Fix
Hey Brant- Great Post!  We miss you everyday on the radio our here- you have no idea!  We also miss hanging out with you and your family!  I thought that I would share this 9 minute video with you that you will love-  It is a series that a church did years back to use as an illustration with the way we perceive Jesus.  They took an old jesus movie and dubbed it-  It is now often quoted around our house... Very appropriate for this post.. They are 4 small vignettes...http://youtu.be/DDSj8sv0uKs
8/18/2011 4:31:41 PM
Shannon United States
Shannon
That was amazing Brant! Made my day!
8/19/2011 8:02:04 AM
Susan B United States
Susan B
I laughed until I cried. I. COULDN'T. STOP. LAUGHING. You are so funny!
8/22/2011 11:50:47 AM
Lauren.Hickman United States
Lauren.Hickman
Sara Beth, out of curiosity, do I know you? Cause I know a Sara Beth. lol I know, RANDOM.



And Brant, I know what to do now when I need a laugh lol Laughing I wanna be your friend lol you are one of my favoriet DJ's! Laughing Thanks for existing! LOL Smile
8/22/2011 11:51:05 AM
Lauren.Hickman United States
Lauren.Hickman
FAVORITE*
8/22/2011 12:57:00 PM
Chance United States
Chance
Kirk Cameron's okay, if you ignore the fact that he never repented for all his shenanigans on "Growing Pains".
8/23/2011 2:49:46 PM
lottie United States
lottie
HAAAAAAHHHAAAAAA. Too bad that some people are like that. I mean COME ON!!! Jesus alowed us to have fun!!!
8/28/2011 6:39:18 PM
Bree
Bree
yeah just not inappropriate fun my youth pastor always says "Why does the devil always get all the jokes and fun"
8/28/2011 6:44:26 PM
Bree
Bree
but lol to this blog
8/29/2011 12:50:00 PM
Cindy Howe United States
Cindy Howe
I love this, is a good reminder for us all. Thanks!
8/29/2011 7:56:27 PM
Bree
Bree
I LOVE ANTHEM LIGHTS!!!Laughing!!!
8/31/2011 11:20:02 AM
Waiting for my flight United States
Waiting for my flight
Brillant!
9/4/2011 3:21:48 PM
Phaedra T United States
Phaedra T
You know, Brant, you really should be using your blog to focus on Christ's work, rather than bringing down other brothers and sisters in Christ.  I'll pray you focus more on the Lord, brother.  

No, really, that was awesome.  And I totally do that to my own husband, who, ironically, is also named Brant.  I'll have to make a mental note to check myself.  Bad wife!  =)  Thanks, Brant!
9/8/2011 5:15:02 AM
Eddie Eddings Kuwait
Eddie Eddings
You had me at "silly"....great stuff! I spewed Mountain Dew on my monitor twice...and I was drinking  chocolate milk at the time.
9/26/2011 7:10:04 PM
TCarr United States
TCarr
@Eddie Eddings: epic win.
---------------
Hmph. You shouldn't judge others for how they live their lives -- we are not to judge those outside the church. Don't you know anything about the Bible?


Laughing w0000t my first Jesus-juke. <3 We need to be allowed to laugh at ourselves.
9/26/2011 7:12:06 PM
TCarr United States
TCarr
ughh and PS I do it too.... How dare someone eat out at a restaurant?? That money could have gone to some homeless person or towards sponsoring a national missionary in a 3rd world country! Besides, God gave us perfectly enjoyable, healthy, not-giant-size-portioned, CHEAP food at the grocery store to feed our bodies! >_> Pfft.
10/6/2011 10:09:52 AM
Mark United States
Mark
What a great post. My mother did this to me and my brother our entire childhood. She's gotten better about it over the years though. This may be a poor comment on my Christianity but sometimes it would be nice to have a conversation with another Christian without all the Jesus-juke.
1/8/2012 1:53:01 PM
Amber United States
Amber
hahaha that made me laugh! partly because it was just plain hilarious, and partly because I know toooo many people who do that EXACT thing.
it's like a lot of Christians nowadays get so caught up in trying to be Christian about everything that they get religious and then it's like you can't have one conversation with them about something normal, it always has to turn into something about the Bible or something wrong with what we're talking about. sometimes I just want to have a NORMAL, REAL, HONEST conversation, I love talking about God and His word and what He's done for me but I don't always want to talk about that, you know? I want to talk about life too.
3/6/2012 5:41:20 AM
pamela United States
pamela
I just have to ask, when are you moving to Chicago!!!!! Love your sense of humor Smile
7/24/2012 12:52:11 PM
Djm0078 United States
Djm0078
Tweet posted! Too funny.

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