Dec 27 2011
If Jesus Had a Blog: I Told This Great Story About a Samaritan Guy and People Didn't Really Like It

What up.

Frustrating:  STILL no WiFi in Nazareth, so we had to walk all the way to Caesarea to get to this sweet Panera.  We had enough shekels for some coffee, but the guys wanted me to go all "loaves and fishes" on the caramel biscotti.

Not happening.

Anyway, just got done talking to this guy who was all, "What do I have to do to inherit eternal life?"  Great question, but when I started talking to him, and mentioned loving his neighbor, he got a little defensive, so he asked, "Well, who's my neighbor?"

I told a story (By the way, enough with the movie clips. Just tell a story. Best. Teaching. Device. EVER.) and it's about a guy who gets attacked and left by a roadside.  A religious leader walks by, and doesn't help. And then this Levite walks by, and doesn't help, and then a Samaritan comes by and totally takes care of him.

Didn't go over that well.

Well, apparently, Peter "needs" the laptop, so I'm out. He's got this "singing" goat video he keeps making everybody watch. It IS pretty funny.


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Posted:  Today at 3:34 p.m.

 
COMMENTS


Hey Jesus... love the blog.  And I know you MEAN well, and making a Samaritan the "good guy" is for shock value, but you've got to remember, you've got a lot of young people who follow you, and they could get the wrong impression. 

We all know that Samaritans believe a lot of wrong things. They are nice people, I'm sure, but their doctrine is TOTALLY fouled up. By making a Samaritan the star, you sound like you're saying it's more important to "love" people than to believe the right doctrinal things. 

I'm sure you don't mean that. 

Just something to think about :)

-- sunny_ames34

Hey "sunny_ames34":  I think he totally means that.

-- the4joneses

I know it's not the point, but I'd like to just say I'm a little disappointed you guys watch stuff on YouTube.  Yes, I know there's nothing wrong with the cute singing goat video - not that I've seen it - but YouTube has a lot of other bad stuff on it - which I also haven't seen. 

Just kinda disappointed you're apparently endorsing everything this secular organization does.  Please read more on personal holiness at my blog: holy4jesus.blogspot.com

-- sally83

Sally, just kinda disappointed you're endorsing "blospot".

-- pre262

Well, I can't say I'm surprised, here, Jesus. This just tops it, for me. You tell a story and the BAD guys are the preachers and religious leaders?  And the good guy is a guy who doesn't even know the right place or way to worship God?  Wow.

Just wow.

Our leaders try hard, and and they help us try hard, and they are men of God, and we respect them for that. They have a lot of charisma and personality and they know so much. Leave them alone, unless that is, you want us to think NO ONE but YOU is good, and only YOU should be our Teacher?

-- grace2u

Is this where I sign up for the seafood giveaway?  I heard you were doing a big seafood giveaway. Sorry if wrong thread.

-- elly1972

This is great.  Thank you, Lord, for making things so simple. I don't envy you. Simpicity makes experts mad. Always will.

You are my Teacher, and I heard your story.  And I now know all the expertise in the world, all the "authority" in the religious world, all the busy-ness that comes to religion - all are meaningless, distracting, even OFFENSIVE, when not coupled with extreme humility and love and true servant-heartedness.

Beautiful. Reminds me of how often I've driven past my neighbors' home en route to another church planning session, or practice, or church event designed to - you guessed it - "reach our neighbors".  They sure keep us busy, don't they?

Thank you, once again, for setting me straight.  It frees me, honestly.  So simple!  Boy

-- c_dyson12

JESUS, you make me angry.

But it's a good anger, and a righteous anger I have.  Because I'm totally sure I'm right.

-- jasecase

Well, Jesus, I appreciate what you're saying, I guess. But let's be honest: While you're making the religious leaders the bad guys in this story, you NEED them. You need their talents, their special abilities, their speaking skills, etc., to get your word out. Without talented religious people, do you think the Kingdom would really advance?

Seriously?

-- DTS_class2008

Guys, you're jumping all over Jesus here, and that's not his point. His point is that we need accountability groups, and possibly an additional Bible study each week.

-- atlanta239

That's not his point.  His point is that we need GOD back in our schools, and back in our government, and people just need to deal with it.  RIGHT. NOW.  BEFORE WE LOSE THIS COUNTRY.

-- katyinfla

Hey "atlanta239", I live in Marrietta, and could join a Bible study. I have church stuff on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. And Wednesday and Saturday/Sunday, but Friday is open.  Wait - it's not.

-- go_dawgs4040

So, Jesus, apparently I can be wrong about all sorts of stuff, but if I love God and love my neighbor, that's all that matters, like it just sums everything up.

This is the kind of feel-goodism that's killing our great churches.

-- Bible_BillJ

jesus pls help me love peopl like u do

-- horsegurl9

Sep 25 2011
Here's Some Stuff You Can Do Before Going to Hell

If you're looking for some religious stuff to do, while still being totally lost, here's a little starter list with some neat ideas.

And yes, don't worry:  If you're determined to avoid God, and don't want to give Him what He's after, you can still do all this stuff.  In fact, doing this stuff has been known to HELP some to avoid the dread and risk and messiness of really knowing God. You can do it all without giving Him your heart.

None of these things will save you.  Plus, they'll keep you busy!  (By the way, FunFact: I totally did the accompanying graphic by myself.  I avoid possible copyright issues in this manner. Thanks!)

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Be a scripture memorizer

Go to church camp

Teach Sunday School

Tithe

Be a brilliant theologian

Lead the Cookies-for-Newcomers Ministry

Think you're one of the Elect

Listen to Christian radio

Work in Christian radio

Lead "powerful worship"

Preach the Word for an hour-and-a-half every Sunday

Be a missionary in Africa

Host a small group from your church

Stand for Justice and Peace

Vote pro-life

Go to seminary

Feel guilty every day

Pray for the President

Have a brilliant, theologically astute understanding of Grace

Talk to people about Christ

Say the "sinner's prayer" 

Speak in tongues

Wear a WWJD? bracelet

Start an award-winning ministry to people with AIDS

Be an elder in your church

Argue with your teacher about evolution

Lead family devotions

Keep trying not to sin

Argue theology on your blog

Argue theology on this blog

"Take a stand" for prayer in school

Start a hip, organic church

Use Christian-y cusswords, instead of the real darn thing

"Take" or "receive" communion every week, month, quarter, or year, without fail

Come forward at church camp

"Take a stand" for Truth and combat the lies of Rob Bell

Place a sticker of a fish, preferably eating a Darwin fish, on your car

Pray two hours a day

Confidently trace your church's lineage back to Peter

Confidently trace your church's lineage back to Calvin

Read Max Lucado

Actually want to read Max Lucado

Read the Bible every day

Argue that drinking alcohol would ruin your "witness"

Say "under God" really loud while you pledge your allegiance to a flag

Rue those new choruses that lack deep theology

Be transparent about your shortcomings on your own radio show and your blog

Personally baptize people

Personally lead people in singing Chris Tomlin songs

Personally baptize Chris Tomlin

Sponsor a child through Compassion International 

Steer clear of R-rated movies

Homeschool your children

Mail only REAL Christmas cards, ones with pictures of Jesus and scripture

Be a member of the Tea Party

Be amember of Sojourners and consider yourself enlightened beyond the Tea Party

Be a "prophetic voice"

Be a counselor at a Graham crusade

MAKE YOUR OWN AWESOME GRAPHICS FOR YOUR BLOG!!!!

Wear a Christian shirt that looks kinda like a known-product T-shirt, but says a Christian-y thing on it

Organize VBS

Wear Tebow jersey to Raiders game

Weep openly at small group

Work at Focus on the Family

Tsk tsk Harry Potter

Have a model marriage

Know who Priscilla and Aquilla are

Know who DeGarmo and Key are

Watch, repeatedly, "Fireproof"

Force your kids to watch, repeatedly, "Fireproof"

Go to confession

Eschew the banalities of commercial Christian culture and listen to Sufjan Stevens

Be a key member of a church that offers solid, Biblical teaching -- none of that namby-pamby stuff

Be a pastor who offers solid, Biblical teaching -- none of that namby-pamby stuff

Listen to Rush Limbaugh

Believe people who listen to Rush Limbaugh lack your insight

Give the neighborhood kids "Cross-Pops" (TM) candy for Halloween, plus a tract

Lead your neighbors to Christ

Be correct about every. single. thing.

"Know", theologically, that this post is correct, but live as if it isn't