(From Brant... an explainer, for those new to the series: The "comments" directly below are NOT real. They're just my best guesses, if Jesus had a blog, what the comments would look like.)
If Jesus Had a Blog
Man, it's a busy time of year. It's time to celebrate my birth, I guess, so everyone's doing what you'd expect in response - the only logical option: Guzzling egg nog and singing about Frosty the Snowman.
I have noticed there are people passing, children laughing, and I'm greeting smile after smile. So that's nice.
(It's all awesome, but you know what really frosts me? When the people at the Jerusalem Costco say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas". MAN, that sets me off. I hope my followers, thousands of years from now, make a huge, huge deal out of that, in keeping with my teachings regarding Christmas and stuff. Okay, so I'm being sarcastic. This isn't the first time, folks.)
Anyways, it's all good, and here's my real point: I'm pretty stoked, because I sent more followers out today to tell the good news! And here's the news: The Kingdom of God is near!
Some are catching on that I'm the Messiah, because they see the evidence: Blind people getting their sight back! Deaf people getting their hearing! Lepers now clean! And the good news is getting out to poor people!
POSTED TODAY 2:34 P.M.
I'm sorry, Jesus, but last time I checked, that wasn't the "Good News". You don't tell the whole story.
The Good News is that I got my ticket to Gloryland!
So...when Jesus shares the Good News with the poor, he's supposed to say, "Hey, everybody, Sharon777 got her ticket to Gloryland!" ??
I mean, we know you're important, Sharon, but...
I'm with sharon777. The Good News is that Jesus died for us, and we can accept him and go to heaven. It bothers me that this blog entry doesn't reflect that. I'm not even sure what all the "kingdom" talk is about, but it's not the Gospel.
Sarcasm isn't very Christian, Jesus.
Excuse me, but my church has BIBLE studies, BIBLE preaching, BIBLE class, Vacation BIBLE School...and I have no idea what you're talking about. So something is really wrong, and I'm just going to presume it's you.
So, I know this wasn't your main point, but you act like it's no big deal that stores won't say, "Merry Christmas." I think it's time we took a stand, before it's too late to win our country back.
Didn't you tell us to "take a stand" to win our country back?
Right on, "momof4". I was at Walgreen's this week, buying one of those massive inflatable lawn ornaments, and the lady behind the counter was all like, "Have a great holiday" and man, that burned me up.
I think it totally takes the focus off of you, Baby Jesus.
I don't like the implicit message in this blog entry, here, J. If God's "kingdom" is "good news", it means we're supposed to want him in charge of everything, like some kind of king. Not only is this sexist/monarchist, it implies I'm merely his "subject" and I'm supposed to advance his agenda. How's that "Good News"?
The implications for this are huge. I like calling my own shots. I don't serve a demanding "god" who threatens this kind of stuff. I'm done with this website.
Does Baby Jesus have a blog?
I think you guys are missing something important here. He says in his last line that the "good news" is getting to the poor, and that's evidence he is God's chosen one.
THAT, to me, is the offensive thing. It shouldn't make a difference whether someone is poor or not. Our church targets rich people in the Dallas suburbs, because -- guess what -- we're rich people in the Dallas suburbs. We spend $14 million a year to reach ourselves, and there's nothing wrong with this at all, because God loves us, too.
Yes, poor people matter, but no more than anyone else, and it's not like God has some kind of special relationship with them.
Actually, I think Jesus is saying he does have some kind of special relationship with them.
Well, the God *I* worship doesn't look at people differently just because one has money and power and the other doesn't.
I'm sure that's true.
You're a pinko lefty.
You're probably so dim-witted you voted for McCain/Palin.
Hey, I like Sarah Palin. She's a Christian, like Tim Tebow. And he's super-nice, I think.
Sarah Palin said she could see Russia from her house. Embarrassing. I don't vote for backward Wal-Mart shoppers. Sorry.
Hey "bob239", Palin didn't say that, Tina Fey did. Doof.
BTW, Wal-Mart employs a lot of people, and does this country a lot of good, which is more than I can say for Barack HUSSEIN Obama.
I agree with dwj. We spend way too much time criticizing Wal-Mart, when we should be trying to find Barack's ACTUAL and REAL birth certificate. Whoever voted for him is stupid.
Actually...YOU'RE stupid, because you "actually" don't know how to use apostrophes.
i hope you are king here soon like you r in heaven