Aug 15 2011
"Jesus-Juking": Some Tips

"Jesus juking", the term, is relatively new (hat tip to Jon Acuff!)  But the activity has been around for a long time  And, by golly, I'm good at it.

Not only have I participated in it, I've been employed in Christian radio, which means I've heard Jesus-juking at its highest levels, in hundreds of different contexts. It's all about adding a comment that will make everyone feel silly, and just plain unspiritual, for having the audacity to go about their daily lives.   Like I say, I've done this, too. 

So here are some tips:


1)  Remember that silliness cannot be tolerated.  And everything, compared to your mature spirituality, is silliness.

Him:  I really like this comedian!  His routine about getting frustrated with his broken washing machine is so true and hilarious!

You:  (sigh) I just don't see how getting angry at a machine glorifies the Lord.


2) "Spiritualize" EVERYTHING... and then contextualize your subtle rebuke by "tying in" to what they're talking about

Her:  I like baseball.

You:  You know, Jesus tells us we'll never truly be "safe" at "home" if we put energy into worldly things.


3) Make EVERYTHING about the "end days".

Him:  Huh.  Says here in the paper that "Rockstar" is now outselling "Powerade", and --

You:  We are told in scripture that "men will thirst".  Just another example that we are at the Very End of Time.


4) Don't let anyone get away with a hobby.

Her:  They've got this really cool model train setup in their garage, with little trees and --

You:  Wow. Wish they'd put that kind of effort into the Kingdom.


5) Compare sports crowds, always, to church crowds.

Him:  Wow! Touchdown! That was clutch!  Woohoo!

You:  If only people would get this excited about the Lord on Sunday mornings.


6) Music is easy pickings. You can juke forever.

Him:  I like this song!

You:  It's not Christian.


Him:  I like this CHRISTIAN song!

You:  Why don't they say the word, "Jesus"?


Him:  I like this CHRISTIAN song about JESUS!

You:  Whatever happened to songs that were just scripture?


Him:  I like this CHRISTIAN song about JESUS that's straight from SCRIPTURE!

You:  So sad that we have to use a "club beat" that reminds people of the things of the world.


Him:  I like this CHRISTIAN song about JESUS that's straight from SCRIPTURE and is A CAPPELLA.

You:  I prefer prayerful silence.


7)  Reading the Bible is awesome.  But not awesome enough.

Her:  You know, I'm reading the Bible more these days!  I'm really enjoying it.

You:  Hm. That's interesting. But you can't rely on your own, very human, flawed interpretation.  Instead, you should really read a John MacArthur Study Bible.


8)  Do NOT allow people to confess their weaknesses.   Pounce.  And then use "brother", or "sister".

Her:  I really struggle with prayer, and --

You:  I'll remember to pray for you, that you'll finally put your faith in God, sister.


9)  Relate all appreciation of nature to religious arguments.

Him:  Man, what a beautiful tree!  It's amazing, and --

You:  Amazing, isn't it, that people worship trees instead of the Creator?


10) Christmas is a GOLDEN opportunity to juke.

Him:  I got some neat Christmas cards with a star on them, and --

You:  It's too bad how they try to replace Jesus with a generic "star" pattern.


Him:  I got some neat Christmas cards with baby Jesus on them, and --

You:  It's too bad society's so approving of BABY Jesus, but not the grown-up one who called down judgment.


Him:  I got some neat Christmas cards with an adult Jesus on them, calling down judgment, and --

You:  It's too bad card-makers are trying to make money off selling pictures of Jesus.


10b) Combining Christmas with music?  PERFECT.

Him:  I love Bing Crosby's "White Christmas"

You:  It's a secular song.


Him:  I love Bing Crosby's "Hark the Herald"

You:  It's too bad Bing Crosby wasn't a Christian.


Him:  I love Kirk Franklin's "Hark the Herald"

You:  It's too bad the original melody is borrowed from a beer hall song.


Him:  How about I just love Kirk Cameron?

You:  Okay!