Oct 01 2013
Awesome Complaint Letters - Made Easy!

Finally - a way to hand-craft an awesome complaint letter, in way less time!

To save you some time, if you ever want to complain about the show, I thought I'd make an awesome "Do-It Yourself Complaint Letter Helper". You can spend less time writing, just by printing this out, and circling which option you'd like to choose for each blank!

It's simple - and fun! Get the kids involved!

 

 

Dear __(1)__ 

 

I heard your program today about __(2)__ , and was ___(3)___ .

 

My kids were listening, and I could not believe my ears, when you said the word ___(4)___ !!!!

 

Have you not read the Bible, where it says, and I quote, "____(5)____ " No, because, apparently, you don't READ the Bible, and I know this because you ___(6)___ .

 

While yes, I admit I sometimes, in my alone moments, privately enjoy ___(7)___ , it saddens my heart to hear that you ___(8)___ .

 

Sure, you may ___(9)___ , but that's no excuse for making me feel ___(10)___ .

 

Mark my words, if you ever do that again, I'll call ___(11)___ and I'll start a petition drive to get you to ___(12)___ !!!

 

 

Sincerely ___(13)___ ,

 

___(14)___ YOUR NAME HERE

 

 

 

 

------------------------------  CHOOSE FROM BELOW --------------------------

 

 

 

(1)

Brant

Dumbhead

Purveyor of Lies

 

(2)

Jesus

puppets

baby ferrets

 

(3)

shocked and disappointed

greatly grieved in my spirit

amused and uplifted, yet enraged

 

(4)

"hubris", which sounds kind of dirty

"donkey"

"gluten"

 

(5)

"God hates puppets."

"And lo, people with ironic senses of humor shall be condemned."

"Don't say 'gluten'."

 

(6)

listen to U2

seem to worship toast

totally just did a one-man, mimed version of the movie, "The Help"

 

(7)

puppetry

everybody ELSE on Air1

saying "gluten"

 

(8)

think God is somehow "okay" with mimes

play Chris Tomlin songs on your accordion

move like Jagger

 

(9)

have Asperger's

talk about Jesus a lot

so TOTALLY look just like that guy on "Full House"


(10)

dirty all over

so incensed

like dancing the night away

 

(11)

the FCC

the cops

you a "big fun goofball"

 

(12)

move to Yakutsk, Russia

shave

slowly step away from the accordion

 

(13)

yours,

ticked-off in Christ,

about to come to that station and help you hit the right buttons for once,

 

(14)

Mr.

Ms.

The Rev.

 

 

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